Trick or Treat, smell my feet, give Pat Robertson some Risperidone to eat!

I have decided that I hope Pat Robertson never dies.  He is such a fountain of insane misinformation.  He is so good for material.  Take for instance his recent comments on Halloween.





Let that sink in for a few seconds.  Go ahead, watch it again.  This time, just try to make sense out of his insane logic.  Just try to wrap your head around it.  I dare you.  It's the same kind of logic Christian schools use, when they have a harvest festival instead of a Halloween party.  Because Halloween is pagan and a harvest festival is Christian.

I'm not even sure where to start with this video.  Let's start with this woman 's email.  Yes, she is spoiling the fun for her kids.  Her family is right.  I wonder about the family dynamics.  It appears she is "saved," but her family isn't.  That must make for some fun at the dinner table on holidays.

But good old Patty Cakes.  He is psychotic right out of the box.  Halloween is a festival for demonic spirits and trick or treating started with Druids killing sheep?  Goblins are real? Jack-O-Lanterns are demonic and Druid?  Halloween is given over to Satanic things and should be turned into a Christian festival?  It makes me wonder just what medications his doctor has him taking.

I Googled like mad trying to find some reference to Druids killing sheep and extorting money.  Using those terms, I got lots of hits.  For World of Warcraft, Warcraft III, Runescape, and a few other video games.  Yes, I could only find references to that in video games, as far as Druids went.  Now, I did find that on Saint Martin's Day, it was customary in Ireland to sacrifice a sheep if you could afford it, or a rooster if you were a peasant. Saint Martin's Day is November 11, which is close enough to Halloween that it could confuse old Pat.  I'm actually astounded that he didn't try to convince his viewers that the sheep in question was a human.  You know, part of Jesus's flock.

The fact is, Druids were the educated class.  Some were priests, but most were doctors, lawyers, writers, etc.  I can't imagine the village doctor knocking on your door and insisting you give him a treat, or he's going to kill your livestock.  As far as the lawyers went, well, I will refrain from lawyer jokes.  But Robertson is making the Druids out to be some sort of early Mafia.

As far as Halloween being a festival for demonic spirits, I can almost see where he got that idea.  The door to the Otherworld was considered to be open on Samhain, the Celtic name for Halloween. The veil between the living and the dead is considered to be at it's thinnest. Modern pagans celebrate it as the pagan new year, based on the works of Sir John Rhys and James Frazer.  But it has become a Christian holiday.

The Church actually changed the dates of All Saints Day and All Souls Day to correspond with the festivities of Samhain.  Samhain became All Hallow's Eve, or as we call it, Halloween.  All Saint's Day was also known as Hallowmas.  So the word Halloween in itself is of Christian origin.  It is an abbreviation.  There is nothing Satanic about it.  Except in the minds of those with evil imaginations and on the covers of heavy metal albums.  And horror movies.  How could I forget horror movies?

Yes, it does correspond with traditional days to honor the dead.  It's not just Spanish countries that practice a Day of the Dead.  A good portion of European Catholics visit graves and light candles for the dead at this time of year.

As far as trick or treating is concerned, there is a very Christian custom to go with that. Children would go from house to house on All Soul's Day and offer prayers and songs for the dead in return for soul cakes.  It was believed that for every cake eaten, a soul was released from Purgatory.  That custom is still around in Portugal, although they do it on All Saint's Day and they don't say, "trick or treat," when they knock on doors.  They say, "Pão-por-Deus," which means, "bread for God."  And yes, while they do get candy on that day, the traditional treat is an anise flavored cake. How much more Christian can you get?

Then there are costumes and masks.  That is also rooted in Christianity.  The idea was for costumes to be frightful, so the spirits of the dead would become confused, think you were dead and not come for you.  Or something along those lines.  Basically, the idea was to confuse the spirits of the dead, who were thought to be out roaming the land, looking for the living.  So costumes and especially masks would shield you from the dead recognizing you.  And if Pat Robertson is someone who believes all ghosts are demons, then he really should be endorsing the wearing of costumes and masks.  Because then, the demons can't get you.  Right?  That would be logical?  It would even give him an excuse to rant about slutty nun costumes and how women need to start dressing scary on Halloween.  Right? Not in his demented mind.  In his mind, costumes are Satanic.

So...  Goblins.  Really Pat?  Goblins?  Goblins weren't even invented until the 12th Century and had nothing at all to do with Druids.  Next!

Jack-O-Lanterns are a bit harder.  Their origins are lost in antiquity.  The origins of the phrase doesn't even date back all that far.  The use of them as decorations at Halloween doesn't even date back past the 19th century.  They were originally lanterns made from turnips.  Pumpkins were adopted when the Irish brought the custom to the United States, as they were far more plentiful than turnips.  Irish folklorists over the years have made no mention of them as a part of a folk tradition.  From what I can tell, they were popularized as Halloween props by Washington Irving, in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow."  So, the use of carved, lit up gourds at Halloween does appear to be a modern custom, with nothing Satanic about it.

So, what have we learned today?  Pat Robertson is way off base with Halloween being Satanic, demonic or anything of the sort.  It is a holiday that is rooted deeply in Christian tradition.  So, let your kids go get candy from the neighbors and don't worry that they're going to start worshiping Satan.  If you must, remind them that if they were born a few hundred years ago, they'd have to offer prayers and songs for dead people they had never met.  So just saying, "trick or treat," means they're getting off light.  Just remember to check their candy, because while poisoned candy is a myth, pins and needles and bricks of marijuana in Snickers wrappers aren't, even if they are incredibly rare.

The Lights Are On, But No One Is Home

You two broke up about a month ago.  You can't believe the connection that you still feel.  So you drive over there.  Look, his car is in the driveway and the lights are on.  You're just going to sit and wait a while, to work up the courage to knock on the door.  Or, since this is garbage night, maybe you can get a glimpse of him wheeling the garbage to the curb.  Then you can surprise attack and he can't pretend to not be home.

You know he's in there.  You can feel him in there.  Why isn't he coming outside?  He hasn't taken the garbage to the curb yet.  It must be because he can feel you outside and he doesn't want to talk right now.  That's alright, he will come around.  The connection is that strong.

So you wait.  And you wait some more.  You know he's in there.  You see lights starting to go out.  You look at your phone and see that it is his normal bedtime.  You have to go home, you have work in the morning.  You hope he doesn't hear you starting your car.  You drive off and figure that you will get here earlier tomorrow.  You want to see him.  You get out of work earlier than he does.  So you can sit and ambush him when he's getting out of his car.

You arrive the next day.  What is going on?  His car is already there.  As it starts to get dark, the lights start to turn on.  You try to get a glimpse of him walking by the window.  But you never see him.  You sneak around to the back and try to see him cooking dinner.  You wonder if he's hurt or something.  You don't smell him cooking and he is a magnificent chef.  His cooking is almost as good as his talents in bed.  But it's getting cold.  So you return to the car.

And you wait.  And you wait some more.  And one by one, the lights go out.  You go home.

This goes on for two weeks.  How can he be ignoring this connection?  You know he's in there.  But he is managing to avoid you.  Can't he feel you out here, the way you can feel him in there?  You know he can feel the pain he's causing you.  How can he be so sadistic?  Doesn't he love you?  You know he can feel you.

Then one night you see a cab pull into his driveway.  You sink down into the bushes, so the headlights don't hit you.  You see him get out of the cab.  The driver comes around and helps him get luggage from the trunk.  He's been on vacation all this time, hiking the Great Wall of China.  That's right.  You were supposed to go with him.  At least you had decided that.  So what that you don't have a passport and he never bought you a ticket?  He was supposed to surprise you at the last minute, instead of breaking up with you.

But how dare he take that vacation alone?  So what it was planned a year in advance and long before you met him.  That was supposed to be your big couples trip!  You feel more betrayed than if you had seen him with another woman.

How dare he put all his lights on a timer, to scare thieves away?  If you had known that he wasn't there, you could have broken in and taken a token to remember him by.  A shirt from his dirty laundry that smells like him.  Anything.  So you can continue to feel him.

But how did you feel him so strongly in there?  You write it off to the fact all his stuff is in there.  Because otherwise, you would have to admit the truth.

When our love for someone is so clingy and needy that it turns from love to obsession with the person, we are convinced that they can feel us, the way we feel them.  But what is really going on?  How can you feel someone who isn't there?

The fact is simple.  The connection isn't there.  That connected feeling you have is actually your obsession with the other person.  They are feeling nothing of the sort.  I like to compare it to trying to call someone who doesn't answer.  You're connected, but they're not.  But the fact that you feel things that aren't there is a sign that you need to get over it.

Really.  It's over.  Deal with it.  You just felt him home for two weeks, while he was on vacation in Asia.  You honestly thought he would cancel the trip and mope around the house at the thought of losing you, instead of getting on with his life.  So now you're even more upset and feel more betrayed.

That connection you feel is all you.  It is in your imagination.  It doesn't exist.  You are going to have to work to get past it.

There is no crime in going to therapy to get past a situation like this.  Especially if it's not the first time.  You need to work on how you don't love, but obsess.  Obsession isn't love.  Obsessions can turn dangerous.  Look at you, spending two weeks of your life that you will never have back stalking an empty house.  It is time to move on.  If you refuse to move on, seriously consider therapy.  If you continue to behave like this, every relationship is going to end in disaster.  Unless of course, you meet someone as needy and clingy and obsessive as you are.  Then you're going to be in a very scary relationship.

Break-ups hurt.  But there is always a reason for a break-up.  So move on and find someone who will share a real connection with you, instead of just feeling that he must love you because the sex is so great.  But move on and lose that connection.

Haunting Memories

I've been watching those paranormal shows on Netflix.  Right now, I'm watching one that was on Animal Planet.  All three seasons are on Netflix.  I won't name the show.  In spite of the fact in some cases, I just feel that people are scaring themselves into believing a building is haunted, there are a few where I believe they were haunted.  But a few I wonder about.  So far, two shows have taken place in the area where I grew up.  The one house, as soon as I heard the name of the original family that lived there, I knew exactly where it was.  My old neighbor's ex-wife grew up there.  It was never haunted when she was growing up.  But, it was also a kind of lame story to begin with.  But all of this is beside the point.  I've been learning a few things I never knew watching this show!  Such as...

• Poltergeists prefer young girls to young boys.

I don't know what it is about activity they deem to be poltergeist, but in these shows, it tends to affect houses with daughters more than with sons.  It seems like the ghosts that haunt where boys live tend to be more normal ghosts.  Unless of course, they insist it sounds like a demon before even investigating.  I don't know if the network told them that they needed so many types of hauntings per season, or they had to use certain consultants so many times per season.  But most of the shows had to do with them determining what guest expert needed to come in before they even got there.

• Some adults have never gotten over their childhood fears of dark basements.
• Speaking of basements, hairy spiders in your basement are a sign of ghosts.  (If the cameraman is to be believed.)

Basements.  Most in these shows are unfinished.  Unfinished basements tend to be plot points in a lot of horror movies.  And let's face it.  In certain areas, you are going to find various creepy crawlies in dark, damp basements.  If you've ever lived with a basement, you know what I mean.  Every basement in this show is unfinished.  You never see a finished basement being haunted.  Just the unfinished, which might not even have adequate lighting.  I understand the fear of the basement.  Big spiders are down there, waiting to jump from behind the washer or dryer and run across your feet.  If you live in a flood plain, it's going to flood.  You might need sump pumps running down there.

But as you grow up, you get over the fear.  Well, if you don't grow up with a bunch of unaddressed neuroses about it.  Generally, your parents help you get over the fear.  Unless they're scared of it too.  

• A vixen in heat shrieking in the woods is a sign of an evil spirit, not mating season.

This show is on Animal Planet.  So you would think that somewhere along the line, someone in the chain of command would know we were listening to a vixen.  Was the idea to scare people who have never been out of their cities?  Something like this makes everything else less credible.  It gives the impression of, "well, nothing to see here, wait, let's record wild animals looking for sex, pretend to be freaked and call it a day."

• Nocturnal emissions are a myth made up by big, bad scientists and doctors.  You are really under attack from a succubus.  
• Sleep paralysis and night terrors are really demonic attacks.

Science and medicine be damned!  We are headed right back to the 15th century.  Did these experts all drop out of high school before they got to basic biology?  Were they all sent to Fundamentalist Christian schools or home schooled by someone who considered science to be of the devil?  Or are they all just batshit crazy, seeing demons in every shadow?  It makes me wonder how they would score if given the MMPI-2.  I doubt they would come up as sane.

According to Alfred Kinsey, 83% of men will have wet dreams in their lifetime.  While this is most common in teenage boys, it can happen anytime after the onset of puberty and about 60% of married men will have them.  But no.  This married, middle aged man was under sexual attack from a succubus.  Do they even know their mythology about succubi?  I think not.  The mythology came about because no one understood the science of puberty or wet dreams.  We understand why they happen now.  Unless of course, we're a whacked out expert on one of these shows.

As far as sleep paralysis goes, I know it's hard for people who suffer from it to accept that what is happening isn't real.  What they need is a sleep clinic, not some crackpot who is going to tell them that they're under demonic attack.  That does nothing to help the person and is not going to stop the problem.  To announce someone is under demonic attack so flippantly, without looking for a medical reason first is just irresponsible.

The entire anti-science movement bothers me.  Shows such as this one drive home the point how much we need to push science in school.  Granted, there are always going to be those who want to believe that every shadow is a demon, just as there are always going to be guys who think they're a knight of old.  Fantasy invades reality.  But we're not giving random guys with swords reality shows and setting them up as experts in medieval weaponry.  This show takes utter crackpots and insists they're experts.  

• You are the wrong religion.  If you're Catholic, you should be Baptist.  If you're Baptist, you should be Catholic.  If you're mainline Protestant, you should be SSPX.  
• Any religion or spiritual practice you don't understand or falls outside of Christianity is evil.
• If you're an atheist or agnostic, demons are going to possess you.  

That's right.  If you aren't on your knees, praying to the Abrahamic god, you are going to get possessed.  Which is why science has medical explanations for what is obviously bad juju.  (Atheists!  If they believed in the right god, they wouldn't be possessed and they wouldn't push science on you!)  We all have superstitions, whether we're willing to admit it or not.  However, to be so superstitious that you are suspicious of anyone who doesn't share your faith, that is on the edge of paranoia and once again, I want to see how you score on the MMPI-2.

• Priests can just do exorcisms for the camera without getting permission from the Bishop.

Or not, after I actually looked up the priests on this show.  There are two priests I have seen on this show.  One is Roman Catholic and he uses prayers of deliverance, which can be said by anyone, including the laity.  The priest doing the exorcisms calls himself an Independent Catholic and appears to have a wife.  So he is definitely in schism in more ways than one.  (As a matter of fact, unless his ordination was done by a Bishop in good standing with the Vatican, it is invalid.)  He seems to be under the impression that all ghosts are demons and need to be exorcised, which tends to be a very fundamentalist point of view.  I have to say, if I was a ghost and he showed up and was telling me I was a dark force and I needed to be banished, I would offer resistance.  Which of course, would make everyone think my ghost was a demon.  Which might explain why once these camera crews are gone, months later some families have claimed things got worse, instead of better.  

• There is no such thing as a Jewish ghost, Muslim ghost, etc.

I say this because with the exception of one haunting, where they brought in a shaman to deal with a Native American ghost, all these ghosts are susceptible to Christian prayer.  So before you say, "that is because Jesus is the one true god," then why did they need a medicine man to deal with a Native American ghost?  One of the first things settlers did was work on converting the Native Americans.  So surely the Christian prayers would have worked.  No?  Going by this logic, if a ghost in life is outside of the Christian belief system, then Christian prayer isn't going to do a thing.

• Flickering lights don't mean a bad bulb or wiring if they continue to flicker.  Flickering more than once means evil forces.
• Never get the wiring checked if there's a high EMF reading.  It is always a ghost.  That fire that started in the wiring?  Ghosts.

If anyone on this show was responsible, the first thing they would do for flickering lights or high EMF readings is tell the family to call an electrician to check things out, before claiming a place is haunted.  While telling them they're haunted might be the gist of the show, it's also leaving these people to risk dying in their sleep as the place burns to the ground from faulty wiring.  

• Beetlejuice was 2/3 documentary.

Honestly, it was.  Watch that movie and then watch these shows and tell me I'm wrong.

• Tiny volunteer paranormal groups manage to be able to film themselves in a room from every angle and manage to zoom in at just the right time.

"We got this video from thus and so paranormal society..."  Yeah, I believe every little group can afford $100K worth of camera equipment and has a professional camera crew working with them, who can zoom in on the right person in an instant.  If that is the case, the cameramen should be working as psychics.  Not everyone in your viewing audience is stupid or irrational.  We notice bullshit when we see it and when something like that is claimed to be amateur video, we call bullshit.   Also, if the show isn't being faked, how do the cameramen know to zoom in at the exact right moment, every single time?

• Satellite mothers are really annoying and think everything is out to kill their children.

This is just a personal observation.  No matter what you want to call them, be it satellite or helicopter mothers, they are annoying, narcissistic imbeciles that we all want to see shut the hell up and let their children have their own damned personalities and interests.

• "We use scientific methods" means having the latest gadgets, not anything else related to science.

If they were using scientific methods, they wouldn't decide it was a haunting before they even got there.  They would want the wiring checked if something was reading too high on the EMF meter.  They would use some form of rationality, before deciding animals acting like animals are proving a paranormal entity is afoot.  They would have at least a modicum of common sense.  Nope.  Their scientific methods are to use gadgets and that is it.

• Confirmation bias runs rampant.

 Depending on your belief system, all ghosts are demons, or there are friendly ghosts and bad ghosts, etc.  So the show is a bit of a hodge-podge of how to handle things.  One week, you need a priest.  The next week, you need a shaman.  The week after that, you need a new age channeler.  However, whatever happens to be the belief system of the week, that is what will get rid of all ghosts.   We see methods ranging from exorcism to, oh, let's just burn a little sage to get rid of what our dime store demonologist claims is a demon.

Oh yes, the dime store demonologist.  He is introduced as being world famous in every episode where they bring him in for the cameras.  I had never heard of him before watching this show and it is nigh impossible to find his credentials through a Google search.  All I get are links to his fame and a few interviews that tell me nothing.  I want to know where he studied.  What makes him an expert.  From what I've seen, he's read a bit of Montague Summers, which is dogmatic, dated tripe.  (In my opinion, of course.)  He also comes off as a bit sleazy and definitely creepy.  Oh, he studied with the Warrens, who spent their time running around with that SSPX priest, who had been excommunicated by the Vatican?  That would explain a few of his odd ideas.  I have never been a fan of the Warrens.  They were fakes in the 70s when they insisted that house on Long Island was haunted and they tried to ruin the careers of anyone who told them sure, they would help investigate, but at the slightest sign of trickery, they were going to expose them as fakes.  If they were ever genuine, they wouldn't have had to worry about being exposed, as there would have been nothing to expose.  So, in my opinion, anything or anyone having to do with them needs to be treated with skepticism.

Getting back to confirmation bias, we use it from time to time.  It validates our beliefs, as we look for evidence that backs up our beliefs and we ignore anything to the contrary.  This show is nothing but confirmation bias.  As I mentioned earlier, they decided houses were haunted and what kind of entity it was before they even got there.  When they did get there, it wasn't let's see if we're right, but it was, let's prove we're right.  That is far removed from scientific method.  It is looking for what confirms what you want to believe and ignoring anything to the contrary.

Finally, I think my favorite line from the entire series was, "we went outside and the dogs started barking."

Really?  Dogs who live in a pen outside started barking at a bunch of strangers on the property they feel they need to protect?  Do these supposed experts have any experience around dogs at all?  If they knew anything about dogs, they would know that outside dogs especially will bark at the wind blowing the wrong way.  But, they wanted to believe it was a sign of a haunting, so noisy dogs became the sign of a haunting.

It is that sort of thing that really annoys me, because, Animal Planet.  A channel that is supposed to be educational.  Once again, somewhere up the chain of command, you would think someone who works there would have a dog and be able to correct this.  All in all, this was just a way to hop on the paranormal bandwagon.  It was not a good idea at all.

The Thaw is Very Flawed

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Readings From The Dead

Once upon a time, there was a rather prolific writer on rootworking and hoodoo by the name of Dorothy Spencer.  Never heard of her?  Perhaps you'd recognize her pen name.  Her pen name was Anna Riva.

If you are a member of the occult community, chances are you have heard of her.  Not only did she write lots of books, but she also had her own line of oils, incense, sachets, powders.  She retired around 2000 and sold the company to Indio Products, which split into two companies, a few years ago.  Wisdom Products for retail, it remains Indio for wholesale.  At least that is what their website says.  At any rate, the woman known as Anna Riva died in 2005 of advanced Alzheimer's disease.

Say what you will about her products.  Some people love them, other people hate them.  Then there are the fluffies who worry that her products and rituals might be evil with a creamy center.  Personally, I like some of the oils and hate others.  Some smell so awful it's crazy.  I used to live in an area where one of the local pagan shops bought her oils by the quart and rebottled them with the store name.  People who hated Anna Riva products on principle or their fears of hoodoo and voodoo raved about the oils this store sold.  I found it rather amusing, so I never opened my mouth about it around other customers.  But one day when it was just me and the employees in there, I did comment that the oils reminded me a lot of Anna Riva oils.  The staff got a bit flustered.  But all of that is beside the point.

The thing that has a bug up my butt at the moment is a flyer from Wisdom Products I was given yesterday.  It is a new flyer, flyer 2012-E.  I so wish I had a scanner so all of you could see this.

The top of the flyer asks you:

Is your mind driving you crazy?
Do you have questions and cannot find the right answers?
Is your spirituality challenged by a source higher than your knowledge?
Break the ice!... Clear your mind!... Find your path!

Then it great big letters it proclaims, "Ask Anna Riva."

In the bottom right hand corner in a red box it says in large text, "Anna Riva is a talented Wise Woman, creator of a line of Spiritual Products and world famous for her Vision.  She is also a renowned Author & Psychic."  (Capitalization is how it was done in the flyer.)

WTF?  She's been dead for around 8 years.  She would have to be one hell of a psychic to still be doing readings.  In my opinion, this is a marketing low.  Also, while it's a circular from Wisdom Products, who is Mara Worldwide?  I did a bit of looking around, while a tree on this site shows some relation to Indio Products, there seems to be no direct line drawn between either company?  And who is Brooke Beyer?  I can't find this person online at all.  Obviously this person is in some way paying to use Anna Riva's name.  On the back of the circular, there are books to order from Wisdom.  Which makes them sleazy in my opinion, licensing out the name to lead on gullible people.  Also, the circular came straight from Wisdom Products.

This circular has a list of 80 common questions that you can ask the person or computer posing as Anna Riva.  It claims that due to overwhelming response, Miss Riva, who is dead, can only answer the pre-printed questions.  Some of the questions are the ones that anyone who works as a reader hears all the time:

Does the person I love love me?
Should I break it off or surrender?
Will I have children?
Should I marry the person I'm thinking of marrying?
How do I cope with my boss?

Run of the mill questions.  Then there are some really odd questions and some that are downright disturbing. I'd like to address some of those.  Such as:

Why is my significant other frigid?

This is a question for a doctor, not a psychic.  There are so many reasons someone can lose desire.  In women, menopause is a big factor.  There is also the stress of being expected to be a wife, mother and homemaker, while holding down a full time job.  If this is the case, if you want to turn her on, send her out for a spa day while you do the cooking and cleaning.  Can't cook?  Take her to dinner instead.  If her frigidity is something that came on slowly and isn't a physical problem, then YOU are the problem.

Why don't I enjoy sex?

This is another question for your doctor.  If this is something that has been going on your entire adult life, see a doctor.  If it's something that is happening with your current partner and has never happened before, chances are your current partner sucks in bed.  But you should see a doctor anyway, not be asking a dead woman.

Will my significant other stop abusing me?

This question disturbs me.  If you want your spouse to stop abusing you, pack up their stuff, change the locks and get a restraining order.  Then visit a good divorce lawyer.  Remove the DOORMAT tattoo from your forehead and stop putting up with the abuse.  No amount of prayer is going to stop an abuser from abusing.  I don't care how much you love this person, you obviously have little respect or love for yourself if you're allowing abuse to continue.  This is NOT a question for a psychic, especially not a dead psychic.  This is a question of finding your inner strength and being your own person.  This is a question of finding a good lawyer before you're tempted to do something that will make you a candidate for an episode of Snapped or Wives with Knives.  If someone is abusing you, get out.  I know you want to hear that the abuser will stop, that you pray for the abuser to stop.  But abusers enjoy the power they get from the abuse.  Get out.  Get out before one of you ends up maimed or dead.

Why are my children abusive towards me?

Gee, are they the children you have with your abusive significant other?  If so, they have learned from example, especially if they are the same gender as your abuser.  This is something you might want to take up with social services.  Especially if your children are grown and you're elderly.  Elder abuse is against the law in most places.  If these kids are spoiled brat teenagers, force them to go to counseling.  Family counseling might help.  But if you let them be brats all their lives and now as teenagers they're being evil, you can pretty much bet they aren't going to change.  Also, teenagers tend to have little respect for a parent who stays in an abusive relationship.  However, once again, this isn't a question for a psychic.  It is a question for a mental health professional.

Why don't I ever have any money?

Chances are, this is a question for a financial advisor, especially if you have a good job.  You could be over extended.  You could be using your credit cards way too much.  You could have a crap job.  Or, you could be wasting tons of money asking dead women questions when you get circulars like this.

Will I change jobs?

This is a question I get a lot as a reader.  Before I even shuffle the deck and lay out one card, I ask straight out if the person asking me this is bothering to send out resumes or even apply for other jobs.  If the answer is no, there is no point in even looking at the cards and I bid them good day.  If the answer is yes, I will proceed with the reading.  However, if you are determined to find a new job, you are going to find one, even if it takes a year.  If you're serious and you are a business professional, you might want to ask a headhunter if they have anything for you.  But if you're not even bothering to look, you are going to be stuck where you are.

Will my life be more exciting?

This is not a question for a dead psychic.  This is a question of common sense.  This is a question of getting up from in front of the TV or computer and actually going out and doing something to make your life more exciting.  Oh, you don't like to do things by yourself?  Then you're never going to make any new friends.  Don't just wish you could be doing something like bungee jumping, go out and do it.  No one is going to knock on your door lost and needing a phone or broken down and needing a phone who is going to add excitement to your life.  Unless it's someone looking to stage a home invasion.  But that's not the kind of excitement most people are looking for.  You need to make your own excitement.  We all do.  If you wait for excitement to come to you, chances are it's not going to be the kind you're looking for.

Why am I so afraid?

This is a question for your doctor, especially if you have no reason to be afraid.  It could be an anxiety disorder.  99% of the time, it is some form of anxiety.  Not an omen, not a curse, but an actual medical problem.  See your doctor, not a psychic who is rotting in her grave.

Should I believe what the doctor is telling me?

The fact this question is on the list gives me chills.  Chills of a bad kind.  I do understand there are some terrible doctors out there who couldn't diagnose an ingrown toenail properly.  However, there is a little something called a second opinion.  If you got bad news that you are questioning, get a second opinion, especially if it's something bad.  Nine times out of ten you should believe your doctor, especially if it's a good doctor.  If the tests come back with something chronic and easily treated, take your medication.  If it's some rare disease, get a second opinion.  But if say that lump in your breast comes back as suspicious on a mammogram and the biopsy says it's cancer, get treatment before you end up as dead as Anna Riva.

How can I protect myself from an ex-lover?

This is a police matter, not a dead psychic matter.  Restraining order.  Have the ex arrested every single time he or she violates the order, instead of being a doormat and letting them in to talk.  Document every threatening call, every threatening text, every threatening email.  The police in most municipalities take these things very seriously.

How can I protect myself from an abusive spouse?

This is a legal matter.  Have the spouse arrested.  While the spouse is in jail, call friends, gather some money and pack up your stuff and get out.  Make sure your friends don't tell the abuser where you are.  If you're a woman, there are shelters to help you escape from an abusive situation in most areas.  There are restraining orders and divorce lawyers.  Social services might be able to help you.  If you get a restraining order, do not allow the abuser to violate it.  The best protection against an abusive spouse is to leave that spouse and if need be, press charges.

How can I protect myself from immigration authorities?

This is a question for an immigration lawyer.  But you might want to make sure you're in a sanctuary city.
Also, don't get involved in gangs, drugs, prostitution or any other fast money plot that can get you arrested.  You might also want to stay out of Arizona if you're illegal and brown.  You need to use common sense, not ask someone posing as a dead woman.

Why am I sick all the time?

Not a question for a psychic.  This is a question for a doctor.  I'm willing to bet that if you used this form and sent in this as one of the circled questions, you would get something about being under spiritual attack and hey, buy this product and you will feel better.  No.  Go to the doctor.  Go into detail about your symptoms.  Go into detail about how often you are sick.  Tests can be done to see if there is an underlying cause.  Then something can be done to make you feel better.  You need a doctor, not a feel good reading.

What can I do to lose weight?

Eat less, eat the proper foods, stay away from prepackaged microwave meals.  Exercise.  Get your fat behind off the couch and go for a walk every night after dinner.  If eating less, eating the right foods and exercise doesn't work, go to  the doctor and get your thyroid checked.  Keep a food diary and see just what you ingest in a day.  Eat fruits and vegetables.  Fresh fruits, not the stuff packed in heavy syrup.  Fresh or frozen vegetables, not that garbage in cans that is loaded with salt, which will cause you to retain water.  Sensible diet and exercise.  This is something you  need common sense for, not a dead woman.

Why do I abuse drugs and/or alcohol?

This is one of the questions that really disturbed me when I saw it.  Addiction is a serious matter.  You need a doctor.  You also need a therapist.  Alcoholism is a physical disease and it can be hereditary.  So if there is a long line of alcoholism in your family, you probably inherited it.  An addictive personality is not something you can get over by a quick detox.  You are going to need to work with your doctor and a therapist.  This is a question for a medical professional and a mental health professional.  Addictions tend to be a physical craving.  Cold turkey is just going to cause you to crave the substances of your choice more.  Work with doctors, don't go looking for psychic answers.

Why am I so depressed?

Not a question for a psychic, especially not a dead psychic.  It could very well be organic depression.  See your doctor, get a referral to a psychiatrist.  See if you have something that can be treated.  If you have a brain chemical imbalance, you are going to be chronically depressed.  A psychiatrist will be able to tell if you actually have a disease, or if you're an emo who will grow out of it.  You need a doctor for depression.  Depression can also be an underlying cause of something else.  Go to the doctor, go through the process and put in the effort to get better.

Those are the questions that really annoyed me.  Most are run of the mill, but those really are the ones where common sense should tell you to seek help from an actual professional.  Taking the advice of someone running a scam using the name of a dead woman could be dangerous in these situations.

So, how much is this scam service?  You can get 12 questions answered for $15.  You can get 5 questions answered for $10.  Add $2 shipping and handling, $5 for priority mail and also for foreign orders.  If you want more than 12 questions answered, you can add $1 per question.  Sounds like a bargain, right?  Not when it's being done in the name of a dead woman.

But wait!  There's more!  On the next page, we discover they are working this woman hard from beyond the grave.  Not only is she sending messages from the beyond to answer your questions, (as long as they're on the list,) but she is writing horoscopes too!  That not having to eat, sleep, shower, etc. because you're dead means she can work 24/7 and not complain about no time off!  On the very next page, you can order a personalized horoscope for the year.  Since she's dead, she can give you a detailed hand written horoscope for the next 12 months for only $14.99!  A bargain, as the dead have no use for money.  They also just need your birth date, not the place or time of birth, unlike those pesky still living astrologers.  I'm sure not one bit of it is computer generated.  Nope.  Not one word is created using a program akin to anything on this list.  Nope.  She is using the ephemeris of the gods and plotting everything by hand.  I'm sure she is.