The Way of the Seer

Hey you.  Yeah, you.  Are you like, special and stuff?  Like, no one understands you and you have no real friends?  Everyone calls you weird?  People switch seats if you sit next to them on the train or bus, even though you showered and used deodorant that morning?  You feel excluded at work, school, in life?  All you really want is to fit in?  You know that you're meant for something greater than the wage slave job you have at some big box chain?  You've read all the big names in self-help off the New Age shelves at Barnes and Noble, but you still can't find your niche?  Well then, a new cult leader New Age guru has the movement for you!

Supposedly, this video is taking the Internet by storm.  In other words, people who jump anything that's in fashion as long as it's feel-good, fluffy and New Age-y are eating it up, while others are asking where the wisdom in the video lies.  For those of us in the latter category, all we see is a sales pitch that's nearly ten minutes long, half sung by a bad wannabe pop-star/cult leader, er, I mean guru by the name of Garrett John LoPorto.

The video is the Wayseers Manifesto.  He spells it Wayseer, but pronounces it Way See-er.  The video starts with a man with generic good looks picking up the courtesy phone in a big box store and sending the call out to all "rule-breakers, misfits, troublemakers, free spirits, pioneers, visionaries and nonconformists."  That everything you've been told is wrong with you is actually right with you and you see things that others don't.

In other words, let's try to hook in the disenfranchised with an overinflated sense of worth crowd right away. If you think you're special and the rules are for other people, this manifesto is for you. 

Now, I have an issue with this right away.  Let's say someone is in a deep psychosis and they're newly diagnosed and therefore, still quite paranoid and seeing things.  Hearing voices.  Suddenly, that person is told that they're special, nothing is wrong with his or her brain.  Seeing things that others don't isn't a sign of psychosis, it's a sign of being special.  The "Establishment" just wants to keep you down, man!

I'm not being snarky here.  About ten years ago I dated someone who, while I was dating him, had a psychotic break.  The "spirits in the mirror" were talking to him.  Morrissey, Danzig and calculus held the secrets to the universe.  He was paranoid.  He developed the Renfield laugh.  He became positive he saw the comet that was going to kill us all.  When he sent me email saying that, I was more or less relieved at the time to see that a meteorite had streaked across the sky that morning, at the time he was driving and saw the "comet".  The meteorite was so spectacular that it streaked across the sky from Canada to I believe it was North Carolina.  But in his mind, it was the end of the planet.

So, I convinced him to pay a visit to his mother.  Who convinced him to go to the hospital.  Where he was put on Risperdal.  Which he took for all of two weeks, as he felt that it was destroying his visions.  Last I heard from him, he was mad at me, as I refused to take him in and take care of him, so he was going to go live in California with his father, who didn't believe he had any form of mental illness.  So a person in the right state of paranoia who hears the message that there is nothing wrong with them that Wayseers can't fix, well, that could be a disaster for that person.

The wannabe cult leader self-help guru singing to us goes on to tell us that we were meant to be rule breakers, not because we're rebels or because we want to flaunt authority, but because we know the "there's a better way".  In other words, he's trying to fuel a mental anarchy, but only as long as you follow his rules.  Also, as those of you who are familiar with the signs will pick up, this is the first in a long list of behaviors he endorses that are signs of being a sociopath.

Our impulses are a gift, according to this man.  Impulsive eating, impulsive shopping, impulsive sexual activity, well, I'm sure he'd consider this a good thing as long as you're a hot bubble-brain who will spend the entire sexual encounter telling him how brilliant he is.  Our impulses it seems are "a key to the miraculous."  Yes, it will be a miracle if you can pay off your credit card after that last bout of impulse shopping at Chanel.  OK, now I'm being snarky.  But once again, impulsive behavior is the sign of a sociopath.

Next we're told mood swings are the "natural pulse of life."  Not something that should be controlled, because when you don't take your medication, everyone is afraid of you.  They're only afraid of you as you scream and cry and start cutting yourself and threatening suicide because they're part of the "Establishment."  According to our new guru here, they give you "unstoppable energy when you're high, deep soulful insight when you're low."  Has this man ever met someone with untreated bipolar disorder?  I think not.  The lows do anything other than give the bipolar deep insight.  They might sleep for 20 hours straight after a manic episode where they're up for three days and acting like they're on speed.  Or does he mean the dreams where they're being persecuted by everyone around them are the deep soulful insights?

Ah, but next we learn there is no such thing as mental illness or a disorder.  Being diagnosed means it's society who is sick, not you, but society points its finger at you.

But see, you're not using your illness or disorder properly according to this man.  All the great pioneers and innovators had mental illness or some odd disorder, according to him.  We are then treated to images of Richard Branson, Albert Einstein, Buckminster Fuller, Martin Luther King Jr., John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Muhammad Ali, Timothy Leary, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff (and his cheeseburger), Mother Teresa, Bob Marley, Mahatma Gandhi, The Who and a few people who I have no idea who they are.  Are we to believe that Mahatma Gandhi and Charlie Sheen are cut from the same cloth?  Are we to believe Sheen is someone to emulate?

Also, the traits he lists for people who have found "The Way" and who were rule breakers and visionaries, well, it's nice to put up pictures of people like Fuller and Gandhi.  But let's not forget that Hitler and Mussolini and Manson and Dahmer and Stalin and Pol Pot all had these traits too.

Now, after telling you how special and different you are from the "Establishment," he goes on to sing, "we are all the same you know.  Because we're all effected by The Way."

Excuse me?  The Way is a well known cult.  Pardon my language.  The Way is a very, VERY impassioned right-wing Christian organization where people have written stories about their experiences, the abuse and their ultimate escape.  It has a few offshoots by escapees who believed the doctrine, but didn't like the way they were told to shun friends and family who didn't believe the same way they did.  So I hope he's not talking about them.

Then he repeats those lines, but this time, we're all attracted to the flame.  And this melody he supposedly wrote sounds an awful lot like a Brian Eno piece.  Maybe by the end of writing this I'll be able to jog my memory as to which Eno piece he's plagiarizing.

But now we are back to "The Way".  The Way is natural order.  Uh-oh.  I'm going to have to stop striking out cult leader.  This is a sales pitch.  Join my cult, full of misfits just like you.

Wow.  I'm not even three minutes into this video.

Next he tries to explain what "The Way" means.  Basically, it's the will of God, but which god?  I thought for a second he was going to try to compare it to The All from Hermetics.  He almost did.  But then he sidetracked.  He goes on to talk about how "The Way" is the source of everything.  Sounds like The All to me.  But like, he has to call it something else so he can get his cult off the ground, right?  He can't use "The Force" without getting sued.  Too bad.  Think of the Star Wars fans he could recruit.

But we're finally getting to the meat and potatoes of his sales pitch philosophy.  Since most people can't see or find "The Way" by themselves, that's where Wayseers come in.  People who are the keepers of the flame.  (I wonder if this is the violet flame of the I AM movement?)  So as Wayseers are savants who see the answer without having to think, who just know the answers, they are here to help the rest of us see the light "The Way".  In other words, once your friends start buying his book and signing up for his paid website, you are never going to hear the end of the sales pitch to get you to join, so you can be as special as they are.  Reminds me of EST in that regard.

A true Wayseer can't show his work and just knows the right answer.  And when "The Way" is present, so are they.  Somehow, Conan O'Brien dancing on his desk and Ellen DeGeneris doing her little dance and some woman from a scene from some chick flick dancing somehow have something to do with "The Way" being present.  From which I can only conclude, "The Way" has no rhythm and can't dance.

Next, he goes on about "neurological repression" as the prefrontal cortex censors our impulses and thoughts from the unconscious.  The job of the prefrontal cortex is to help us along with social graces and the brain is highly evolved.  It doesn't say censor your thoughts, it says to think before acting impulsively.  Think and reason before you act.  Nothing about censoring the unconscious mind.  Dreams are manifestations of our unconscious mind and let's face it.  Our dreams bring our unconscious thoughts and worries to the forefront.  So I don't know what this guy is on about, but as I can't seem to find anything about his education, I can only guess he isn't a neurologist or psychiatrist.

However, any form of self censoring keeps us from finding "The Way."  According to this guy.   All I can really think of as he's on about the brain is the Discordian slogan: "Consult your pineal gland."

It would seem, if you've watched the video so far and are basking in the feel-good "I'm OK, you're OK" message, then you have overthrown the "fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex."  No, really, he half sings that.

Yep.  If his warm and fuzzy you're not mentally ill message appeals to you, then you have overthrown what society wants you to be.  You are special, you are in the 10% who have found "The Way."  At this point, he throws in scenes from "The Matrix."  You are Neo!  Don't you feel special?

LoPorto then launches into a message about revolution and going against society that drags on and on.  Basically, anyone who has any manners or feels that society is necessary for humans, you don't see "The Way."  "The Way" is all about your self interest and what YOU WANT.  You are a victim of society!  All those people who don't defy social conventions, they are sheep.  This is where we get to the heart of the sociopathic message.

He claims 90% of humanity take social conventions and the rules very seriously.  Is he trying to kid us?  How many of you can say that 90% of the people you know are straight laced and follow all the rules?  We ALL make our own rules for our own lives.  Unless of course, he's encouraging people to break the law.  Then we have a new problem.

LoPorto calls 90% of society psychotic in this video.  No, he gets that backwards.  But a lot of this video is backwards.  Wayseers conform to creative and destructive acts?  So our cult leader is showing us that he is a psychopath, looking for followers who will perform destructive acts against society for him when the time comes?  This is the message I'm getting from the video.

This isn't the first time Garrett John LoPorto has tried to start a movement.  The last time, he tried to cash in on "The DaVinci Code" craze with his DaVinci Method.  It was designed to help those with ADD and ADHD use their disorder to make their brains work for them.  I guess it didn't sell the way he wanted it to, as now he's pushing The Wayseers.

Go to the website and you will find a quiz that is almost identical to his DaVinci Method quiz.  Are you a Wayseer?  Are you a DaVinci?  Chances are anyone who takes either quiz is going to find out that yes, they are special, they do fit.  So buy my books!  Besides, to get the quiz results, you have to give them your email address on both sites, so expect the spam to roll in! 

Yep.  The message of the Wayseers is so special that you can only order the book directly from the website and until you spend that $35 +postage and handling, you are just lost.  You will never find the truth.  I love you, you're special, now give me your money, follow me and when I give the call for destruction, you will answer.  Of course, if you can't justify buying the book at the moment, you can join his other website for a mere $15 a month and interact with other Wayseers and get the wisdom of your guru, too.

Of course, if you're a good little Wayseer, you will give the website your email address, which will give you access to the first chapter of the book.  As I'm sure this book isn't on Pirate Bay or any other site like that yet, I took one for the team and got the free chapter.  It starts with the story of an egg that a chicken hatched, that was actually an eagle.  And the eagle didn't fit in well with the other chickens.  Didn't I read this story as a child?  I do believe I did.  Except it was a swan being raised by ducks!  It was called "The Ugly Duckling!"  First, he steals from Brian Eno and now, he steals from Hans Christian Andersen!  I wonder who else he steals from?

But wait, hold the phone!  First page, first chapter states, "Wayseers usually carry a common gene - a genetic polymorphism called DRD4 exon III 7-repeat allele.  (DRD4 7R for short.)  This is the DaVinci Method redux!  That is the gene that is most commonly associated with ADD and ADHD.  It is also linked to dopamine receptor 4, which is linked to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, impulse disorders, binging and purging, well, you get the idea.  A sociopath is trying to start a movement to get people with mental disease and disorders to follow him! 

Of course, you don't have to have mental disease to be a Wayseer.  If you don't have any of the DRD4 disorders, if you've done enough LSD to open the doors of perception, you're a Wayseer according to LoPorto too.  So if you don't have a disorder, start dropping that acid so you can be a Wayseer! 

However, a good number of people who jump every New Age movement are already following him and not paying attention to the fact he is looking for those who have clinical diagnoses to start his cult.  He has written for the Huffington Post and he is getting an audience.  Not to mention a largish following.  Considering he is looking for people to take off their meds and brainwash, can that fortified compound in Montana be far behind?  I don't think Elizabeth Clare Prophet is using hers anymore.

Hey you.  Yeah, you.  You still feel alone?  You don't fit the ADHD profile that Garret LoPorto is looking for in a follower?  You feel let down by yet another New Age movement?  You feel left out of yet another cult?  Don't worry, I'm sure Scientology will take you.  Their message and indoctrination might be less harmful, too.

BTW, the music he uses is Brian Eno's "The Big Ship."  I finally figured that out.

For those of you still curious, this is the video.  Try to enjoy.






UPDATE!  Well, it would seem that LoPorto pretty much stole his opening message and the images he used from an old Apple commercial.  Really.  Here's the ad.