Ah, the timing of readings. Very few readers will get time frames right. The only reason anyone attempts them is because clients push for them. Time frames are a hideous idea. I refuse to give them anymore.
Once upon a time, I did. It felt right. It felt like a certain time of year. A number would float in my head, so that had to be how long before things happened, right? Wrong.
Time as we tell it is a construct of man. A year on Mars is twice what it is here. If we lived on Mercury, we'd all be living to ripe old ages, as a year there is only about 88 days on Earth. In other words, if the rest of the solar system doesn't keep time the way we do, what are the chances the universe at large does? Therefore, what I thought felt like a month or two turned out to be a year. Which led clients to ask me, why did it take so long? The answer is, because it did. But that's not an answer anyone wants to hear.
I'm feeling spring, right? Well, it finally happens in spring, but next year, not this year. The season is right, but the year isn't what you're expecting or wanting.
There are other reasons giving a time frame is a bad idea. If a client wants a time frame, chances are it's for one of two reasons. They've become frustrated with the situation and want to see some movement. Or, they want a commitment and they want it now. In the case of the former category, the writing is usually on the wall. It's time to move on. The latter category is another can of worms entirely.
While some men will fall into the latter category, it is mostly women who are in an all-fired hurry to find a man, get married and settle down. Women seem to be feeling their biological clocks earlier and earlier. Or it could be that things are becoming more global and I'm seeing more clients from cultures that are rather different than the one in which I was raised. There are still women out there being raised to believe that if they're not married and a mother by the age of 30, no matter how successful they are in their chosen careers, they are failures.
So let's say you were raised to believe you're a failure. Your 29th birthday is looming. The guy you've been dating for a few months hasn't given you a ring. You ask me when you're going to get engaged or if you are going to get engaged. I see the engagement, but it's not for another year or two. You hit the ceiling. You get mad at me, you get mad at him. Your mother is nagging you, so you need that husband and baby NOW! Not next year, not the year after that. NOW!
So you let this news fester. Mind you, you've been dating this guy for less than six months, so you really don't know him all that well, do you? Sure, you have built up a fantasy in your mind on what he's really like, as he's still on his best behavior. But you really don't know the real him. You don't know if he's saving up to buy you a rock the size of Gibraltar, as he's already figured out he wants to be with you, or that he wants some time without the commitment and bills of marriage. He still wants to have fun, with you of course. He still wants to hit restaurants. Have either of you even cooked for each other at this point? He's still taking you to dinner.
Have you spent more than a night together? Oh, you went to a cute little bed and breakfast in Vermont and went skiing all Saturday? That doesn't count. I mean, spend real time together. Where you get to see if he leaves his socks all over the bedroom floor. Where he gets to see if you're going to commandeer the shower curtain rod to dry your intimates. Where you have to see if either of you knows how to cook more than a microwave meal. Eating out every night can drive you to the poorhouse. How about sports? Spend two weeks at his place during the NFL playoffs. Especially if you hate football and he loves it. Even better, one of you adores baseball and the other doesn't understand that the seventh game of the World Series with the Cubs favored to win is a big thing. You need to take that little taste, to make sure it is what you really want. Just like when you're cooking.
It's like the pot of sauce I have cooking on the stove as I write this. It is from scratch, kind of, as the only palatable jar sauce (in my opinion, of course,) is Francesco Rinaldi and that's not available west of the Mississippi. But even that, I used to have to doctor up and cook for a few hours before it was edible. Also, my sauce isn't nearly as high in sodium per serving, or sugar. So I wait. I get out the tomato paste, dissolve it in water, (three cans of water to each can of paste,) I get out the tomato puree and the diced tomatoes. (I admit it, I'm too lazy to blanch Roma tomatoes myself, nor do I really have the room.) I get out the spices, the Parmesan, the garlic, the onion, the olive oil, bring to a simmer and then wait six hours, stirring every five minutes. Which means I have to be patient. The first hour isn't bad, as that's everything just getting going, the pot getting warm enough to simmer. But after it starts to simmer, the aroma starts to permeate the house. I can't work, as I can't ask clients who are paying me by the minute in chat to please wait while I stir the sauce, so the chunks of tomato and onion don't stick to the bottom of the pot and burn. Trust me, they can do that even with a teflon dutch oven.
Not only do I have to stir every five minutes for hours, I have to keep an eye on the temperature of the stove. Is the simmer too fast and going to go into a full boil that will ruin the sauce? Is the temperature too low and now instead of simmering, it's just staying warm and being tomato soup? I have to test it. Is it savory enough? Is there enough garlic? Oregano? Basil? Bay? Do I have to add sage to make it less sweet? Do I have to add basil to sweeten it up? Are the tomatoes tart enough that I have to add a small spoon of sugar to neutralize the acid? I have to wait and test and wait some more.
But I'm starting to hear my stomach rumble. I can't eat before I make sauce, as it would spoil my palate for testing the sauce. Sure, after it's been cooking a minimum of three hours, I can spread a bit on a slice of bread, to test for taste, consistency and all of that. But that's just a tease. Sure, I could spread some more sauce on a slice of bread. But if I keep doing that, when the sauce is finally ready, I won't be hungry anymore.
So I wait. I also hunger. Finally, when the sauce is done, do I get to dig right in? Nope. I have to find and remove all the bay leaves. Trust me, no one wants to stick one of those in their mouth. I have to decide what kind of pasta I'm going to use. Then I have to boil the water. Minimum of 20 minutes for the water to come to a boil in a spaghetti pot. Then I have to cook, drain and rinse the pasta. Then drain it again and toss and wait a few minutes longer for any excess water to drain. And if I decide to make chicken or eggplant parmesan to go with this sauce, I have to wait for that, too. Not only do I have to wait until the sauce is ready, but then I have to bread the chicken or eggplant. Give it a quick browning in the pan and then stick it in the oven from a half hour to an hour, depending on how thick the chicken is. But know what? It is worth the wait and it is worth the payoff.
But if I become impatient, I can't wait for the flavors to start to mix, mingle and meld before I start doctoring the basic recipe, I ruin the sauce. Yes, I have ruined the sauce in the past. In spite of making it for years, I sometimes try to get it to finish too soon, turn up the heat and burn it, or add too much of something. Then I have to try to fix what is ruined, (unless it burns, then forget it,) and it makes things harder. All because I let my hunger get the best of me and I was too impatient. If I try to serve the chicken parmesan too soon, the chicken is pink inside and makes everyone sick. So I'm patient.
But you have no patience, you want someone who will commit now. So you dump him and break his heart. He knew on the first date you were the one he wanted to marry, but instead, your desire to be Bridezilla is so strong, that you have lost all sense of propriety and you're acting like you might need psychiatric help. So you dump him to find someone who will get married right away. And you find yourself single and a disappointment to your family at 40. All because you lacked patience. So who am I to destroy this shot at happiness by telling you how long it's going to be before you're engaged? You need to be patient and just know it will happen.
So when you're in a massive hurry to get married, you really do have to ask yourself why. Are you afraid he won't be worth the wait? If that's the case, don't be in a hurry to commit. Are you afraid he will decide you're not worth the wait? If that's the case, may I suggest therapy to work on your insecurity issues? I'm not saying you're nuts, (but let's face it. Being in love can cause the most stable of people to act a bit nuts,) I'm just saying if you're that afraid that you're not worth the man you desire, you have some major issues to work through, so you don't chase him away.
Are you worried because all your friends are getting married and you want your party? Once again, that is your own issue that you have to work through. But if you're getting married at the same time all your friends are and you have a lot of friends in common who will be at all the weddings, you're not going to get nearly as good a gift as if you wait.
Are you in a hurry because of pressure from your family? It is YOUR life, not theirs. They have already lived their lives, don't allow them to live vicariously through you. Don't try to be what they want you to be, especially if it makes you feel a bit crazy and unhappy. Be your own person and move at your own pace. Once upon a time, I saw some comedienne on TV who was doing a routine on wedding season and the ancient aunts are saying to her, "when are you getting married? I love going to weddings!"
She said her answer to this is, "when are you dying? I love going to funerals."
A retort to think about, isn't it? Trust me, if you say that, no one will ask you again.
Don't let impatience get the best of you. This has become a fast food society. We want to drive up to a window and have our food waiting for us, within three minutes of ordering. So what if the food isn't high quality, we want it NOW! What do you mean, I have to wait for the fries to cook? I'd rather have the ones that sat for five hours instead of fresh, so I don't have to wait! We don't want to get dressed, go to the store and go DVD or CD shopping. We want to download the music and movies we want NOW! We don't care that MP3s or ACC files have a lot of loss of sound quality. We don't care that the pirated movie was filmed from a seat in the theater and people are talking, the sound is mushy and people are getting up and blocking the scene. We are willing to give up quality, in order to have it NOW!. That applies to relationships too. If the quality of your food is important to you, then you either cook yourself or go to a decent restaurant, where you wait. If the quality of your music is important to you, you go to the store and buy the CD, or you order it. You wait for the quality, instead of settling. If quality is important to you in a potential spouse, you'd better wait. Unless being the first of your friends to get a divorce is important to you too.
So if you want time frames, especially time frames that apply to how fast you think things should be moving, don't come to me. If you want it now, you can't wait a few months for the kinks to iron out, don't come to me either. You won't like what I have to say, especially when I force you to take a look at yourself. You also won't like the fact I won't give you a time frame. Especially if your entire sense of self worth means you need it now.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stir the sauce. Again.
Bitwine
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
O Rapturous Day! Callooh! Callay!
My apologies to Lewis Carroll.
I just couldn't let May 21 pass without commenting on things. If you're an American, you've probably heard about Harold Camping claiming the Rapture is tomorrow. Unless you live under a rock. It has been on the news, it's been in all sorts of blogs, the Huffington Post, Bible study sites and of course, Harold Camping has been encouraging his followers for the last two years to spam chat rooms. Which is how I first heard about it.
Most reports are taking the same mocking tone. Most reports are also coming from those who believe in some form of Christianity. That's not to say atheists and pagans aren't getting their digs in. Trust me, they are. Everything from Facebook events such as, "Jesus Is Not Coming Back," and, "Post Rapture Looting," to the people at the Interactive Bible broadcasting live all day tomorrow from Jerusalem. Why? To prove the Rapture is false doctrine.
Yep. All those believers aren't even following biblical doctrine. They are following in the footsteps of John Nelson Darby and the Plymouth Brethren. Who were NOT New World settlers in Massachusetts. They were an apocalyptic sect that invented the Rapture in 1830. Before them, the Rapture didn't exist. No church taught of the Rapture before the Brethren. No one. It. Did. Not. Exist.
The Plymouth Brethren were formed in 1827, in Ireland. It traveled across to England in 1831, where it became rather popular with well-to-do men. Here, these men who were going to have a harder time getting into Heaven than it would be to pass a camel through the eye of a needle were suddenly offered salvation.
The Brethren were called that because they called each other "brother." Simple as that. Most of the followers were people who were pious, but were disenchanted with the Church of Ireland and the Church of England. They felt that they weren't strict enough, that they had gotten away from the roots of Christianity. They were an evangelical group, with no real leadership. Many wrote literature that became part of the belief system. Among the most influential was John Nelson Darby, the father of Dispensationalism. When he dreamed up the Rapture in 1830, he said it just popped into his head.
Just popped into his head. Think about that.
But many believed him. Back in the 1830s, the Brethren were convinced that they were living in the end times. Sound familiar? They were the first end times cult. And of course, only they would be raptured.
Well, most of them lived to be old men and the Brethren are still active in Ireland and England, although their numbers have been shrinking in the last 60 years.
The doctrine of this group gave birth to all those Born Again groups, the Pentecostals and all those modern day preachers who are making a mint off of fear. They interpret the Bible as they see fit and use passages out of context. All to convince people to become "Christians", because if you're just your run of the mill Methodist, or (god forbid,) a Catholic, you are not a real "Christian" and you have not been saved.
If I could go back in time and hit anyone with a baseball bat, it would be John Nelson Darby. Without him, Hal Lindsey, Bob Jones, Jack Van Impe, Tim LaHaye, Harold Camping and so many others would have had to have gotten real jobs.
So now we have Harold Camping and his followers telling us that tomorrow evening, at 6 PM in every local time zone, there are going to be earthquakes like you have never seen before. They will start in the Pacific Ring of Fire. Now, given the last few months, an earthquake in New Zealand isn't that big of a longshot. It is in one of the first time zones that will see 6 PM. They've been having a bitch of an autumn down there. Christchurch is still in ruins and then a few weeks ago, tornadoes hit the North Island. So, not a long shot.
This is a very bold statement by Camping, in my opinion. He's not taking into account that Southern Hemisphere countries are on Standard Time at this time of year and Northern Hemisphere countries that observe it are on Daylight Savings Time. Then you have the pockets that don't bother with DST. As a matter of fact, Asia doesn't even bother with DST. Arizona doesn't observe DST in most of the state. Nor does Saskatchewan. A good bit of Africa is in the Northern Hemisphere. Only Morocco and Western Sahara observe DST. Nor is it observed in the parts of South America north of the Equator. So it's going to get confusing tomorrow, as the true believers try to observe in every single time zone, as they wait to be lifted into Heaven. Never have I seen so many people so happy at the thought of death.
But anyway, rolling earthquakes as the clock strikes 6 PM, as the tectonic plates scream. You know, this is a trick I want to see. Every single place on the planet, no matter how remote, suffering earthquakes. Is that even a geographic possibility?
What really bothers me in all of this are all the people who are defaulting on their mortgages, quitting their jobs and spending their last penny because tomorrow the world ends and they won't need money. I believe in sharing the wealth, but that's just stupid. They are going into debt to pay for billboards to spread the word of their cult leader. They are fearful that their loved ones won't be raptured with them. They're also inflicting themselves on strangers, believing they are attempting to save their souls.
This has happened once before in my lifetime. In 1975, the Jehovah's Witnesses were so sure it was 6000 years after the creation of Adam and Armageddon. People sold their houses, their possessions, they went through their savings. They went into the ministry full time, Witnessing, so they could save people. Nothing happened.
These days, the Jehovah's Witnesses are claiming that they never predicted Armageddon in 1975. However, this video has audio from a speech Fred Franz, then VP of the Watchtower Society, gave at a Watchtower convention.
So, does any of that sound familiar to anyone? It would if you've been paying attention to the Rapture believers running around now.
It doesn't surprise me that Camping preaches what sounds like it came straight from the Watchtower Society. Depending on who you listen to, he either left his post as a Reformed Church Elder in 1988, or he was "asked" to leave. He then created Family Radio Stations and I'm told that in certain markets he had a TV show. He started preaching a form of Christianity that is half a step away from the Jehovah's Witnesses, mixing in some Mormon doctrine for good measure.
The Watchtower Society says that 144,000 are getting into Heaven at Armageddon. Camping preaches that 2% of the population will be raptured. Those 2% are roughly his followers. Both claim only their followers will get into Heaven. The rest will be left to suffer.
Camping has also done away with the 7 years of Tribulation, followed by Jesus Christ ruling a perfect Earth for 1000 years. At least the Watchtower believes in that 1000 years of a perfect world. Camping says that those of us who are left behind will die on October 21.
Tomorrow won't be the first time he got it wrong. He wrote a book in 1992 that claimed the Rapture would be on September 6, 1994. Granted, he did add a little caveat in the book, saying that he could be wrong and the date could be May 21, 2011. So, when he was wrong, he announced that it wasn't the Rapture in 1994, but the end of the Church Age. Yep. Go to church on Sunday instead of listening to him? You're an unsaved heretic who is going to go through 6 months of hell on earth starting tomorrow. Jewish? You've got until tomorrow to start believing in Jesus if you don't want to get left behind.
Really, this is the crap the man preaches. I would add a video of him going on about it, but his voice is sleep inducing and he takes FOREVER to get to the point. So I will spare you.
He did give an interview to New York Magazine, in which he said, "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."
When asked what happens on May 22, if he and his followers haven't been raptured, he said, "I’m not even thinking about that at all. It. Is. Going. To. Happen."
That reminds me of a scene at the end of the original Wicker Man. When Sgt. Howie tells Lord Summerisle to tell his people that a sacrifice won't keep the crops from failing, Summerisle replies in an authoritative voice, " I know it will."
Faith, it is all about faith. However, by 7 PM in local time zones, Camping's followers will have lost their faith. Just like all the Rapture dates before this one, we will go about our Saturday nights as we normally do. We will wake up on Sunday morning. I feel for the people who are so lacking in their personal lives that they lived for this doctrine and have basically destroyed their lives in preparation for death. They will have spent their savings, many won't have jobs to go to anymore on Monday morning and some will only have the vans they bought to advertise the end to live in. It is going to be a mess for his followers, who are going to have to deal with the fact that they are going to have to learn to live. Not to mention that most states only pay unemployment if you're let go.
If Camping really doesn't know what he's going to tell his listeners when they tune on on Sunday morning, he's kind of screwed. These people are going to be looking to him for answers as to why their god has forsaken them. There are those among them who will have nothing to live for, come 6:01 PM in their local time zones. Will Camping decide that he was wrong yet again and change the date for the Rapture to October 21? That is what my money is on. I just know, it's going to get weird fast for a lot of people. I'm willing to bet a number of them will lose their faith immediately.
Speaking of lost faith, let's go back to the Plymouth Brethren for a moment. There is a story of an adolescent lad named Alexander, or Alick, which was his nickname. Alick's father would take him on trips to other towns in England as he evangelized. He said his father spoke with great authority. His father published tracts that he handed out as he went out among the people. Alick followed the doctrine to the letter, just like his father. Until his father died, then young Alick became a misotheist, his hatred of a god who would let his father die such a horrible death from cancer drove him away. That young boy grew up, started publishing his own tracts, but before he did he changed his first name to Aleister. His last name? It was his father's name and his father before him. His last name was Crowley.
I do wonder if any of the adolescents who are waiting to be with god tomorrow who will be disappointed will end up taking that route. The law of averages says yes.
Let's also not forget, you're not going to find a thing on the CDC website about Rapture readiness. They have a page up that explains the real threat to public health. It's not the Rapture, oh no. It's the zombie apocalypse.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp
I just couldn't let May 21 pass without commenting on things. If you're an American, you've probably heard about Harold Camping claiming the Rapture is tomorrow. Unless you live under a rock. It has been on the news, it's been in all sorts of blogs, the Huffington Post, Bible study sites and of course, Harold Camping has been encouraging his followers for the last two years to spam chat rooms. Which is how I first heard about it.
Most reports are taking the same mocking tone. Most reports are also coming from those who believe in some form of Christianity. That's not to say atheists and pagans aren't getting their digs in. Trust me, they are. Everything from Facebook events such as, "Jesus Is Not Coming Back," and, "Post Rapture Looting," to the people at the Interactive Bible broadcasting live all day tomorrow from Jerusalem. Why? To prove the Rapture is false doctrine.
Yep. All those believers aren't even following biblical doctrine. They are following in the footsteps of John Nelson Darby and the Plymouth Brethren. Who were NOT New World settlers in Massachusetts. They were an apocalyptic sect that invented the Rapture in 1830. Before them, the Rapture didn't exist. No church taught of the Rapture before the Brethren. No one. It. Did. Not. Exist.
The Plymouth Brethren were formed in 1827, in Ireland. It traveled across to England in 1831, where it became rather popular with well-to-do men. Here, these men who were going to have a harder time getting into Heaven than it would be to pass a camel through the eye of a needle were suddenly offered salvation.
The Brethren were called that because they called each other "brother." Simple as that. Most of the followers were people who were pious, but were disenchanted with the Church of Ireland and the Church of England. They felt that they weren't strict enough, that they had gotten away from the roots of Christianity. They were an evangelical group, with no real leadership. Many wrote literature that became part of the belief system. Among the most influential was John Nelson Darby, the father of Dispensationalism. When he dreamed up the Rapture in 1830, he said it just popped into his head.
Just popped into his head. Think about that.
But many believed him. Back in the 1830s, the Brethren were convinced that they were living in the end times. Sound familiar? They were the first end times cult. And of course, only they would be raptured.
Well, most of them lived to be old men and the Brethren are still active in Ireland and England, although their numbers have been shrinking in the last 60 years.
The doctrine of this group gave birth to all those Born Again groups, the Pentecostals and all those modern day preachers who are making a mint off of fear. They interpret the Bible as they see fit and use passages out of context. All to convince people to become "Christians", because if you're just your run of the mill Methodist, or (god forbid,) a Catholic, you are not a real "Christian" and you have not been saved.
If I could go back in time and hit anyone with a baseball bat, it would be John Nelson Darby. Without him, Hal Lindsey, Bob Jones, Jack Van Impe, Tim LaHaye, Harold Camping and so many others would have had to have gotten real jobs.
So now we have Harold Camping and his followers telling us that tomorrow evening, at 6 PM in every local time zone, there are going to be earthquakes like you have never seen before. They will start in the Pacific Ring of Fire. Now, given the last few months, an earthquake in New Zealand isn't that big of a longshot. It is in one of the first time zones that will see 6 PM. They've been having a bitch of an autumn down there. Christchurch is still in ruins and then a few weeks ago, tornadoes hit the North Island. So, not a long shot.
This is a very bold statement by Camping, in my opinion. He's not taking into account that Southern Hemisphere countries are on Standard Time at this time of year and Northern Hemisphere countries that observe it are on Daylight Savings Time. Then you have the pockets that don't bother with DST. As a matter of fact, Asia doesn't even bother with DST. Arizona doesn't observe DST in most of the state. Nor does Saskatchewan. A good bit of Africa is in the Northern Hemisphere. Only Morocco and Western Sahara observe DST. Nor is it observed in the parts of South America north of the Equator. So it's going to get confusing tomorrow, as the true believers try to observe in every single time zone, as they wait to be lifted into Heaven. Never have I seen so many people so happy at the thought of death.
But anyway, rolling earthquakes as the clock strikes 6 PM, as the tectonic plates scream. You know, this is a trick I want to see. Every single place on the planet, no matter how remote, suffering earthquakes. Is that even a geographic possibility?
What really bothers me in all of this are all the people who are defaulting on their mortgages, quitting their jobs and spending their last penny because tomorrow the world ends and they won't need money. I believe in sharing the wealth, but that's just stupid. They are going into debt to pay for billboards to spread the word of their cult leader. They are fearful that their loved ones won't be raptured with them. They're also inflicting themselves on strangers, believing they are attempting to save their souls.
This has happened once before in my lifetime. In 1975, the Jehovah's Witnesses were so sure it was 6000 years after the creation of Adam and Armageddon. People sold their houses, their possessions, they went through their savings. They went into the ministry full time, Witnessing, so they could save people. Nothing happened.
These days, the Jehovah's Witnesses are claiming that they never predicted Armageddon in 1975. However, this video has audio from a speech Fred Franz, then VP of the Watchtower Society, gave at a Watchtower convention.
So, does any of that sound familiar to anyone? It would if you've been paying attention to the Rapture believers running around now.
It doesn't surprise me that Camping preaches what sounds like it came straight from the Watchtower Society. Depending on who you listen to, he either left his post as a Reformed Church Elder in 1988, or he was "asked" to leave. He then created Family Radio Stations and I'm told that in certain markets he had a TV show. He started preaching a form of Christianity that is half a step away from the Jehovah's Witnesses, mixing in some Mormon doctrine for good measure.
The Watchtower Society says that 144,000 are getting into Heaven at Armageddon. Camping preaches that 2% of the population will be raptured. Those 2% are roughly his followers. Both claim only their followers will get into Heaven. The rest will be left to suffer.
Camping has also done away with the 7 years of Tribulation, followed by Jesus Christ ruling a perfect Earth for 1000 years. At least the Watchtower believes in that 1000 years of a perfect world. Camping says that those of us who are left behind will die on October 21.
Tomorrow won't be the first time he got it wrong. He wrote a book in 1992 that claimed the Rapture would be on September 6, 1994. Granted, he did add a little caveat in the book, saying that he could be wrong and the date could be May 21, 2011. So, when he was wrong, he announced that it wasn't the Rapture in 1994, but the end of the Church Age. Yep. Go to church on Sunday instead of listening to him? You're an unsaved heretic who is going to go through 6 months of hell on earth starting tomorrow. Jewish? You've got until tomorrow to start believing in Jesus if you don't want to get left behind.
Really, this is the crap the man preaches. I would add a video of him going on about it, but his voice is sleep inducing and he takes FOREVER to get to the point. So I will spare you.
He did give an interview to New York Magazine, in which he said, "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."
When asked what happens on May 22, if he and his followers haven't been raptured, he said, "I’m not even thinking about that at all. It. Is. Going. To. Happen."
That reminds me of a scene at the end of the original Wicker Man. When Sgt. Howie tells Lord Summerisle to tell his people that a sacrifice won't keep the crops from failing, Summerisle replies in an authoritative voice, " I know it will."
Faith, it is all about faith. However, by 7 PM in local time zones, Camping's followers will have lost their faith. Just like all the Rapture dates before this one, we will go about our Saturday nights as we normally do. We will wake up on Sunday morning. I feel for the people who are so lacking in their personal lives that they lived for this doctrine and have basically destroyed their lives in preparation for death. They will have spent their savings, many won't have jobs to go to anymore on Monday morning and some will only have the vans they bought to advertise the end to live in. It is going to be a mess for his followers, who are going to have to deal with the fact that they are going to have to learn to live. Not to mention that most states only pay unemployment if you're let go.
If Camping really doesn't know what he's going to tell his listeners when they tune on on Sunday morning, he's kind of screwed. These people are going to be looking to him for answers as to why their god has forsaken them. There are those among them who will have nothing to live for, come 6:01 PM in their local time zones. Will Camping decide that he was wrong yet again and change the date for the Rapture to October 21? That is what my money is on. I just know, it's going to get weird fast for a lot of people. I'm willing to bet a number of them will lose their faith immediately.
Speaking of lost faith, let's go back to the Plymouth Brethren for a moment. There is a story of an adolescent lad named Alexander, or Alick, which was his nickname. Alick's father would take him on trips to other towns in England as he evangelized. He said his father spoke with great authority. His father published tracts that he handed out as he went out among the people. Alick followed the doctrine to the letter, just like his father. Until his father died, then young Alick became a misotheist, his hatred of a god who would let his father die such a horrible death from cancer drove him away. That young boy grew up, started publishing his own tracts, but before he did he changed his first name to Aleister. His last name? It was his father's name and his father before him. His last name was Crowley.
I do wonder if any of the adolescents who are waiting to be with god tomorrow who will be disappointed will end up taking that route. The law of averages says yes.
Let's also not forget, you're not going to find a thing on the CDC website about Rapture readiness. They have a page up that explains the real threat to public health. It's not the Rapture, oh no. It's the zombie apocalypse.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)