OK, I get it. Dates that have a certain symmetry only come around once every few years. I understand this. However, all this 11/11/11 nonsense has really gotten on my nerves.
For years, I listened to people go on about 11:11. How you should make a wish. How, if you notice it on a clock, it's a message from *fill in the other worldly entity of your choice*. It's a magical number! The list goes on.
OK, no one paid attention to 11:11 before digital displays on clocks were the norm. Your old, round clock with hands? 11:11 is far from a noticeable time. Especially on analog style clocks that don't have any dits or dashes to indicate the minutes, other than at five minute intervals. So 11:11 is far from some ancient angel or fairy dust type thing that the white lighters have turned it into. It is simply a time of day where all four numbers on a digital clock are the same. It is the only time of day where that happens. Unless of course, you've got a European clock. Then, once a day, your clock will say 11:11 and it will also say 22:22. To an American, 22:22 is 10:22 PM. That just doesn't have the same symmetry, does it?
So, suddenly today, 11/11/11 isn't a day to make a wish. Oh no. It's a day of doom and gloom and don't do this and don't do that and hide under the bed until it's over!
Which leads me to ask... What the fuck is wrong with these people?
I didn't think anything of it, until last week. When someone asked me if it was safe to travel today. Someone had told them they had a bad feeling that planes would be falling out of the sky today. That it was a day to stay indoors and don't venture out. I thought this was an isolated incident. I was wrong.
The doom and gloom sayers have been on about Comet Elenin. It was supposed to hit sometime between the 9th and today! Um... Did they not read how the comet broke up and wasn't even going to give us a show? Did they miss the part about how that asteroid on Tuesday was going to be infinitely closer than this comet? Oh, they married the idea that this comet was going to kill us all. So when it broke up, that was the government hiding the truth from us. Have they never seen a comet before? I mean, they're in the solar system in droves. Every few years, one is giving us a show that can be seen with the naked eye or binoculars. You don't even need good binoculars for those, either. Once again, Comet Elenin is a complete and utter washout. It no longer exists as a comet, just random debris. It was never a threat and now, it's even more of a non-threat.
Oh, you're wrong! What about the nationwide Emergency Alert System test?
OK, once upon a time, we called it the Emergency Broadcast System. I'm so out of touch, I thought they still called it that. TV stations are required to test once a week. We all grew up being paranoid every time that test came on. Those of my generation can pretty much recite the, "if this had been an actual emergency," spiel. The test had nothing to do with some mass emergency that was going to happen today. And now that 11/11/11 is over in most time zones, (not in mine though,) I think we can put that paranoia to rest too.
But Congress took the week off! Um, have you not noticed that the President has been criticizing Congress, especially the House of Representatives for their lack of getting anything done, other than fluff bills? The House announced it's taking most of 2012 as a vacation. The House is full of the laziest representatives in nearly 100 years. However, the fact that most of the people who are screaming about FEMA death camps, the EAS test, Comet Elenin and all the doom and gloom are members of the Tea Party, well, that hasn't been lost on me. So complain to your Representative about how much time they're taking off. What, you elected a Tea Party rep in your district, so you can't say anything bad, lest you admit you made a bad choice? Heh. Deal with it.
It hasn't been all doom and gloom though. People are getting married in Vegas in droves. A baby made the news for being born at 11:11 on 11/11/11. The Silicon Valley had an all day hack-a-thon for charity, as this is the last binary date of the century. That is something I really liked, the fact that this has been named the nerd new year based on it being a binary date.
People are so hung up on this new age pseudo-science of 11/11 and 11:11 that they have forgotten the meaning of the day. This is Veteran's Day in the United States and Armistice Day in the United Kingdom. On this day in 1918, World War I ended. So we set aside this day to remember veterans of foreign wars. It isn't a day for all this New Age complete and utter bullshit. It is a day to honor veterans. There are still three WWI veterans alive, one of whom is a woman. One in the United Kingdom, one in Poland and one in the United States. Andy Rasch, the last living American who was in WWI turned 110 last week. I guess there is no massive media coverage because he's 110, not 111.
If you want to consider 11:11 lucky on your clock, be my guest. If you want to believe it's a message from the spirit world, that's fine too. But don't ram it down the throats of those who are seeking. Because it's not going to help them find what they need. Also, how many of you actually have made a wish at 11:11 that has been granted? Maybe 1% of you?
I understand that dates with symmetry only come around once in a blue moon. The last one was 9/9/99. I seem to remember people being paranoid about that one too. I also remember a few friends paying bills late, because they wanted to put that date on the checks.
But let's put an end to this nonsense. I'm so sick of all this doom and gloom and the world is ending. This is what, the fourth time this week that the world was supposed to end? How many times this year? What bugs me is, all the people who are claiming the doom and gloom associated with various dates, with the exception of Harold Camping, claim to be lightworkers. Most don't even understand that term comes from the I AM/Ascended Masters movement. But I don't see the lightwork in telling everyone the sky is falling. As a matter of fact, that attitude is totally out of touch with the Violet Light. Those of you afraid to live and wishing for the death of humanity, I really wish you'd all get psychological help and take your meds.
That said, I shall sit here for five minutes, so I can post this at 11:11 PM, my time. Just for the fun of it.
Bitwine
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Lord is My Financial Advisor?
So Pat Robertson is at it again.
The woman in this video wrote to him, asking him why God is ignoring her and that money has become so tight that tithing every week is becoming a burden.
Oh Pat. It's so nice to see you're still insane. Telling someone who can't make ends meet that tithing has to continue is just irresponsible.
Now, I don't have an issue with tithing. I believe in charity. Tithing, especially to small churches helps keep them afloat. New roofs, upgrading the air conditioning in hot climates, keeping the church up to code, making sure your minister is in his or her office when you need him or her, instead of your minister out working a 40 hour week and not being available... Tithing is important.
But tithing is NOT unto any god. Tithing goes unto man. While it pays for the upkeep of the church and the clergy, that money is not being raised bodily into Heaven and to God, Jesus or even Moses. It is kept on Earth, in the human realm.
To scold this woman, telling her she's not budgeting properly is just stupid. None of us know what the deal is with Melissa. Someone in her household may have lost their job. She may have one of those "fixed rate" mortgages that is anything but and that keeps going up every year. Her mortgage may have been bought up by another bank who decided to raise the rates. The cost of living keeps going up in general, but wages are stagnating. So to tell someone that they're not budgeting properly, unless you have their pay stubs and bills is just too glib an answer.
Now Melissa, I know you're not reading this. But you shouldn't be talking to Pat Robertson about this, you should be talking to your minister. Who can help you find help if you need it. Who knows what local resources are available. Who just might understand if you can't tithe 10% of your income for the time being. In other words, your minister might not be a money grubbing whore like Pat Robertson.
Oh yes. I just called him a money grubbing whore. This is a man who is a millionaire, not by any honest means, but by telling people that if they don't tithe, they will go to hell. By promising a blessing that doesn't ever appear for these people, if they continue to send him money.
Now, Melissa is probably lost to common sense anyway, as she wrote to Pat Robertson for advice. But what sort of example is this setting for your children? "I'm sorry Melissa Jr., but you can't have new shoes, just cut out holes so your toes don't get cramped. I have to tithe, so we can't afford new shoes for you to wear to school."
Now, Melissa Jr. is going to see mom and dad giving all their money to the church, God not bestowing any sort of blessing, in spite of constant prayer. What is Melissa Jr. going to decide once she develops a bit of reasoning ability? Will it be her family isn't worthy of God's blessing, or will it be, there is no God?
Chances are, it will be the latter. Which will cause drama in her family. She may even end up disowned. All because this woman wrote to Pat Robertson who told her that tithing is more important than her bills.
I liked the way he threw in that she needs some financial help at the very end, almost as an afterthought. Yes, it's obvious that Melissa needs some financial help. But to move into a house too small for her family or to cut down to one car if both she and her husband work is not a great answer. While some people do overextend themselves, it's appalling to me that Robertson is just assuming that they're overextended financially, based on the letter.
He offered no reason for God to not be answering her prayers either. All he really did was scold her. He threw rhetoric at her and no solid answers. He didn't even give her a God helps those who help themselves line. In other words, he could give her no reason for her prayers going unanswered.
Now, the subject of tithing depends on who you ask. Most fundies will tell you it is absolutely necessary. But according to this article, tithing is under the Old Testament, not the New Testament. The article states that Paul said that if you do a job, you deserve to be paid for it. Which should send a shiver up the spines of some fundamentalist types, who have decided that fair wages should be a thing of the past. However...
If you can't afford to tithe 10% and you are a Christian, there is no reason you should have to tithe first and deal with necessities later. Talk to your minister. Tithe a dollar if you can. But it's stupid to tithe more than you can afford, especially if by doing so, you're going to end up right on your church's charity rolls.
The woman in this video wrote to him, asking him why God is ignoring her and that money has become so tight that tithing every week is becoming a burden.
Oh Pat. It's so nice to see you're still insane. Telling someone who can't make ends meet that tithing has to continue is just irresponsible.
Now, I don't have an issue with tithing. I believe in charity. Tithing, especially to small churches helps keep them afloat. New roofs, upgrading the air conditioning in hot climates, keeping the church up to code, making sure your minister is in his or her office when you need him or her, instead of your minister out working a 40 hour week and not being available... Tithing is important.
But tithing is NOT unto any god. Tithing goes unto man. While it pays for the upkeep of the church and the clergy, that money is not being raised bodily into Heaven and to God, Jesus or even Moses. It is kept on Earth, in the human realm.
To scold this woman, telling her she's not budgeting properly is just stupid. None of us know what the deal is with Melissa. Someone in her household may have lost their job. She may have one of those "fixed rate" mortgages that is anything but and that keeps going up every year. Her mortgage may have been bought up by another bank who decided to raise the rates. The cost of living keeps going up in general, but wages are stagnating. So to tell someone that they're not budgeting properly, unless you have their pay stubs and bills is just too glib an answer.
Now Melissa, I know you're not reading this. But you shouldn't be talking to Pat Robertson about this, you should be talking to your minister. Who can help you find help if you need it. Who knows what local resources are available. Who just might understand if you can't tithe 10% of your income for the time being. In other words, your minister might not be a money grubbing whore like Pat Robertson.
Oh yes. I just called him a money grubbing whore. This is a man who is a millionaire, not by any honest means, but by telling people that if they don't tithe, they will go to hell. By promising a blessing that doesn't ever appear for these people, if they continue to send him money.
Now, Melissa is probably lost to common sense anyway, as she wrote to Pat Robertson for advice. But what sort of example is this setting for your children? "I'm sorry Melissa Jr., but you can't have new shoes, just cut out holes so your toes don't get cramped. I have to tithe, so we can't afford new shoes for you to wear to school."
Now, Melissa Jr. is going to see mom and dad giving all their money to the church, God not bestowing any sort of blessing, in spite of constant prayer. What is Melissa Jr. going to decide once she develops a bit of reasoning ability? Will it be her family isn't worthy of God's blessing, or will it be, there is no God?
Chances are, it will be the latter. Which will cause drama in her family. She may even end up disowned. All because this woman wrote to Pat Robertson who told her that tithing is more important than her bills.
I liked the way he threw in that she needs some financial help at the very end, almost as an afterthought. Yes, it's obvious that Melissa needs some financial help. But to move into a house too small for her family or to cut down to one car if both she and her husband work is not a great answer. While some people do overextend themselves, it's appalling to me that Robertson is just assuming that they're overextended financially, based on the letter.
He offered no reason for God to not be answering her prayers either. All he really did was scold her. He threw rhetoric at her and no solid answers. He didn't even give her a God helps those who help themselves line. In other words, he could give her no reason for her prayers going unanswered.
Now, the subject of tithing depends on who you ask. Most fundies will tell you it is absolutely necessary. But according to this article, tithing is under the Old Testament, not the New Testament. The article states that Paul said that if you do a job, you deserve to be paid for it. Which should send a shiver up the spines of some fundamentalist types, who have decided that fair wages should be a thing of the past. However...
If you can't afford to tithe 10% and you are a Christian, there is no reason you should have to tithe first and deal with necessities later. Talk to your minister. Tithe a dollar if you can. But it's stupid to tithe more than you can afford, especially if by doing so, you're going to end up right on your church's charity rolls.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
First They Came For the Atheists...
You may have heard about a radical right wing preacher in Florida by the name of Mike Stahl. He runs a Living Water internet church. Basically, his church is a blog on this very site. One that begs for donations through PayPal. One that hasn't gotten many hits. Most of his hits according to the stat map he has up have been since he gained a bit of notoriety.
Pastor Mike caused a bit of an uproar the other day. One that caused him to turn off his Facebook page and to make one of his blogs invitation only. By my current count, he seems to have at least three blogs, but that's beside the point. Our good pastor has decided to freak out about atheists and compare them to child molesters.
You heard me right. Child molesters. So as a result, he wants a national registry of atheists. Why? So he and those who think in the same warped way can make the life of an atheist miserable.
It would seem that a year or so ago, he posted his short manifesto to his blog. As his blog has a very small and specific target audience, blogs such as his are easily missed by the general population. But then, Stahl decided to post his ideas to FB. That is when the shitstorm hit.
His reasoning is warped and well, here is the post:
Let that digest for a few minutes. Now let's go over it, point by point.
Information purposes, eh? So let's say you have the most unusual name in your small town and you're an atheist. The right wing fundies of this country manage to cross the line of the First Amendment and get their list made. The list has your name and your picture. You also run a business in town. What do you think is going to happen?
Pastor Mike knows if he put a list like this out, it would be to intimidate and drive atheists out of town. The First Amendment guarantees freedom of religion. Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. Atheists are not out there picketing churches on Sundays. They are allowing you to practice your religion. What do you all think would happen if a list of known atheists, or even a list of people who belong to minority religions in a town full of fundies got published? Mikey-Poo already has his ideas on how the list can be used:
OH NOES! RUN! THERE ARE ATHEISTS IN OUR MIDST, OUT TO FEAST ON THE FLESH OF YOUR CHILDREN IN A SATANIC ORGY!
Seriously, this man could benefit from the use of a few strong psych meds if he believes atheists feed Satan. (Sure, Laveyan Satanists are atheists, but according to Anton LaVey, the entire Church of Satan was built on Ayn Rand's Objectivism. There is no worship of Satan as a deity.) Or that atheists have no feelings, no heart, no morals. He wants a registry so he can run atheists out of town on a rail. To infringe on their first amendment rights. I'm willing to bet this man is among the first to complain if he feels his right to be a radical Christian is being infringed upon.
From what I can tell, the dangers of atheism are free thought, the acceptance of evolution, the Big Bang and acknowledging the Earth and the Universe are more than 6,000 years old. While not all atheists are scientists or intellectuals, most are far more open minded than a far right Christian.
Once again, he compares atheists to sex offenders and convicts. Funny, atheists in prison are a vast minority. As a matter of fact, in 1999, most prison inmates in the United States were Baptists. Hmmm... Most Living Water Churches I've come across are Baptist Churches... Not that I'm saying Pastor Mike is a convict or sex offender. Nor am I equating him to a criminal for being a Baptist. That would be irresponsible of me. But it is an interesting coincidence...
Really Mikey? You can't see why anyone would oppose this idea? Wouldn't this be akin to making Jews wear big yellow Stars of David on their sleeves? Or forcing homosexuals to wear the upside down pink triangle? You see no problem with giving those who don't worship your God a mark? Hey Mikey, you're a dispensationalist. You believe in the Rapture. You believe in Revelation and all that goes with it. Isn't it the Beast who gives people the mark?
So, once you have listed every atheists in the country who is willing to be harassed by right wingnuts, then what? Let's see... You might want to go after the pagan community, what with all that running around in the woods pretending their are female deities,while we're actually deluded and worshiping Satan, right? Or you might want to go after agnostics. Because they're a bunch of fence sitters, so you can force your brand of fundamentalism down their throats and "save" them, right?
Or how about those Buddhists? Oh, scratch that, as most Zen Buddhists tend to already be atheists. But hey! If you force every Hindu, Jain and Sikh on a list, then you'll be saving them from the people who think they're Muslims, right? Especially the Sikhs, as their turbans are mistaken for Muslim headgear. Your friends can start offering to take the Hindus on the list to McDonald's for a burger, to show them that the "right god" thinks it's ok to eat from a sacred cow!
You "saved" types tend to hate Catholics too. I dare you to try to force every Catholic in the United States to be put on a list, so you and your friends can save them from their worship of the Virgin. Especially since I've never met a Born Again who understood the difference between worship and veneration. I dare you to try this with Catholics! I dare you to try to get William Donahue to help you!
Or even better... How about a list of Scientologists who aren't celebrities? Your friends and neighbors who have paid for auditing? Yeah, I dare you to try to go up against the Catholic church and the Church of Scientology!
Of course, it's just easier to go after atheists, as they have no organization. Especially since you think atheism is a religion. Mikey, time for an English lesson and not about how you put a space before a comma or period. But about the word atheist. Theist = one who believes in a deity. Atheist, let's break it down. a-theist. The a means without. So atheist means... Yep. Without religion. Atheism is NOT a religion. I know it's hard for you to understand that atheists have no form of worship. But they don't.
Mikey, you really don't want to start an involuntary list. Unless you really hate America and the Constitution. In which case, why don't you move to a country that has a theocracy? I bet you'd love Saudi Arabia.
But I have a better idea. I say we make a list of far right Born Again Christians in this country. So more liberal Christians and Pagans and Hindus and Jews and Jains and Sikhs and Muslims and Buddists and atheists and agnostics and anyone else who realizes how dangerous you people are can boycott your businesses. Ah, but you'd be the first to scream persecution if that happened. Hypocrite.
UPDATE: The good pastor Mike Stahl has been getting a taste of his own medicine, it would seem. He's claiming to be getting a load of threats and hate mail. He is threatening those who write to him, (who don't agree with him,) with legal action. The following is his latest blog post.
OK, Mikey, let me get this straight. It's fine and dandy for you to create a registry of atheists. But when those who read about your lunacy gave you a taste of the medicine that you would like all atheists to see, you're going to scream that people are being mean to you?
You are a hypocrite of the highest degree.
While I don't agree with threatening those who don't think the same way as you do, I feel that if you feel that it's OK to harass atheists, run them out of town, send them into hiding, destroy their businesses, send them threatening mail, well, then... What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Perhaps this will get you to understand why you don't create databases intended to harass law-abiding citizens, simply because they don't believe in your god.
Pastor Mike caused a bit of an uproar the other day. One that caused him to turn off his Facebook page and to make one of his blogs invitation only. By my current count, he seems to have at least three blogs, but that's beside the point. Our good pastor has decided to freak out about atheists and compare them to child molesters.
You heard me right. Child molesters. So as a result, he wants a national registry of atheists. Why? So he and those who think in the same warped way can make the life of an atheist miserable.
It would seem that a year or so ago, he posted his short manifesto to his blog. As his blog has a very small and specific target audience, blogs such as his are easily missed by the general population. But then, Stahl decided to post his ideas to FB. That is when the shitstorm hit.
His reasoning is warped and well, here is the post:
Brothers and Sisters , I have been seriously considering forming a ( Christian ) grassroots type of organization to be named “The Christian National Registry of Atheists” or something similar . I mean , think about it . There are already National Registrys for convicted sex offenders , ex-convicts , terrorist cells , hate groups like the KKK , skinheads , radical Islamists , etc..
This type of “National Registry” would merely be for information purposes . To inform the public of KNOWN ( i.e., self-admitted) atheists . For example , let’s say you live in Colorado Springs , Colorado , you could simply scroll down ( from the I-Net site /Blog ) I would have , to the State of Colorado , and then when you see “Colorado Springs” , you will see the names of all the self-admitted atheist(s) who live there ( e.g., if an atheist’s name happened to be “Phil Small” ) . The individual’s physical address , and other known personal information would NOT be disclosed ( though , perhaps a photo could be ).
Now , many (especially the atheists ) , may ask “Why do this , what’s the purpose?” Duhhh , Mr. Atheist , for the same purpose many States put the names and photos of convicted sex offenders and other ex-felons on the I-Net – to INFORM the public ! I mean , in the City of Miramar , Florida , where I live , the population is approx. 109,000 . My family and I would sure like to know how many of those 109,000 are ADMITTED atheists ! Perhaps we may actually know some . In which case we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of atheism . Or perhaps they are radical atheists , whose hearts are as hard as Pharaoh’s , in that case , if they are business owners , we would encourage all our Christian friends , as well as the various churches and their congregations NOT to patronize them as we would only be “feeding” Satan .
Frankly , I don’t see why anyone would oppose this idea – including the atheists themselves (unless of course , they’re actually ashamed of their atheist religion , and would prefer to stay in the ‘closet.’).
Let that digest for a few minutes. Now let's go over it, point by point.
Brothers and Sisters , I have been seriously considering forming a ( Christian ) grassroots type of organization to be named “The Christian National Registry of Atheists” or something similar . I mean , think about it . There are already National Registrys for convicted sex offenders , ex-convicts , terrorist cells , hate groups like the KKK , skinheads , radical Islamists , etc..Isn't it nice to know that if you don't believe in a deity, that you are being equated with sex offenders, criminals, radical jihadists, (who have religion,) and other terrorists? He seems to ignore the fact that groups like the KKK are Christian to the core. Funny, I've never met an atheist skinhead. Sadly, I have run across a few in my time and every single one of them has been Christian, in spite of their hatred of Jews. You might want a good pair of running shoes if you wish to point out to them that Jesus was an Orthodox Jew. However, most hate groups have a dogma. Atheists have no dogma.
This type of “National Registry” would merely be for information purposes . To inform the public of KNOWN ( i.e., self-admitted) atheists . For example , let’s say you live in Colorado Springs , Colorado , you could simply scroll down ( from the I-Net site /Blog ) I would have , to the State of Colorado , and then when you see “Colorado Springs” , you will see the names of all the self-admitted atheist(s) who live there ( e.g., if an atheist’s name happened to be “Phil Small” ) . The individual’s physical address , and other known personal information would NOT be disclosed ( though , perhaps a photo could be ) .
Information purposes, eh? So let's say you have the most unusual name in your small town and you're an atheist. The right wing fundies of this country manage to cross the line of the First Amendment and get their list made. The list has your name and your picture. You also run a business in town. What do you think is going to happen?
Pastor Mike knows if he put a list like this out, it would be to intimidate and drive atheists out of town. The First Amendment guarantees freedom of religion. Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. Atheists are not out there picketing churches on Sundays. They are allowing you to practice your religion. What do you all think would happen if a list of known atheists, or even a list of people who belong to minority religions in a town full of fundies got published? Mikey-Poo already has his ideas on how the list can be used:
Now , many (especially the atheists ) , may ask “Why do this , what’s the purpose ?” Duhhh , Mr. Atheist , for the same purpose many States put the names and photos of convicted sex offenders and other ex-felons on the I-Net – to INFORM the public ! I mean , in the City of Miramar , Florida , where I live , the population is approx. 109,000 . My family and I would sure like to know how many of those 109,000 are ADMITTED atheists ! Perhaps we may actually know some . In which case we could begin to witness to them and warn them of the dangers of atheism . Or perhaps they are radical atheists , whose hearts are as hard as Pharaoh’s , in that case , if they are business owners , we would encourage all our Christian friends , as well as the various churches and their congregations NOT to patronize them as we would only be “feeding” Satan .
OH NOES! RUN! THERE ARE ATHEISTS IN OUR MIDST, OUT TO FEAST ON THE FLESH OF YOUR CHILDREN IN A SATANIC ORGY!
Seriously, this man could benefit from the use of a few strong psych meds if he believes atheists feed Satan. (Sure, Laveyan Satanists are atheists, but according to Anton LaVey, the entire Church of Satan was built on Ayn Rand's Objectivism. There is no worship of Satan as a deity.) Or that atheists have no feelings, no heart, no morals. He wants a registry so he can run atheists out of town on a rail. To infringe on their first amendment rights. I'm willing to bet this man is among the first to complain if he feels his right to be a radical Christian is being infringed upon.
From what I can tell, the dangers of atheism are free thought, the acceptance of evolution, the Big Bang and acknowledging the Earth and the Universe are more than 6,000 years old. While not all atheists are scientists or intellectuals, most are far more open minded than a far right Christian.
Once again, he compares atheists to sex offenders and convicts. Funny, atheists in prison are a vast minority. As a matter of fact, in 1999, most prison inmates in the United States were Baptists. Hmmm... Most Living Water Churches I've come across are Baptist Churches... Not that I'm saying Pastor Mike is a convict or sex offender. Nor am I equating him to a criminal for being a Baptist. That would be irresponsible of me. But it is an interesting coincidence...
Frankly , I don’t see why anyone would oppose this idea – including the atheists themselves ( unless of course , they’re actually ashamed of their atheist religion , and would prefer to stay in the ‘closet.’ ) .
Really Mikey? You can't see why anyone would oppose this idea? Wouldn't this be akin to making Jews wear big yellow Stars of David on their sleeves? Or forcing homosexuals to wear the upside down pink triangle? You see no problem with giving those who don't worship your God a mark? Hey Mikey, you're a dispensationalist. You believe in the Rapture. You believe in Revelation and all that goes with it. Isn't it the Beast who gives people the mark?
So, once you have listed every atheists in the country who is willing to be harassed by right wingnuts, then what? Let's see... You might want to go after the pagan community, what with all that running around in the woods pretending their are female deities,while we're actually deluded and worshiping Satan, right? Or you might want to go after agnostics. Because they're a bunch of fence sitters, so you can force your brand of fundamentalism down their throats and "save" them, right?
Or how about those Buddhists? Oh, scratch that, as most Zen Buddhists tend to already be atheists. But hey! If you force every Hindu, Jain and Sikh on a list, then you'll be saving them from the people who think they're Muslims, right? Especially the Sikhs, as their turbans are mistaken for Muslim headgear. Your friends can start offering to take the Hindus on the list to McDonald's for a burger, to show them that the "right god" thinks it's ok to eat from a sacred cow!
You "saved" types tend to hate Catholics too. I dare you to try to force every Catholic in the United States to be put on a list, so you and your friends can save them from their worship of the Virgin. Especially since I've never met a Born Again who understood the difference between worship and veneration. I dare you to try this with Catholics! I dare you to try to get William Donahue to help you!
Or even better... How about a list of Scientologists who aren't celebrities? Your friends and neighbors who have paid for auditing? Yeah, I dare you to try to go up against the Catholic church and the Church of Scientology!
Of course, it's just easier to go after atheists, as they have no organization. Especially since you think atheism is a religion. Mikey, time for an English lesson and not about how you put a space before a comma or period. But about the word atheist. Theist = one who believes in a deity. Atheist, let's break it down. a-theist. The a means without. So atheist means... Yep. Without religion. Atheism is NOT a religion. I know it's hard for you to understand that atheists have no form of worship. But they don't.
Mikey, you really don't want to start an involuntary list. Unless you really hate America and the Constitution. In which case, why don't you move to a country that has a theocracy? I bet you'd love Saudi Arabia.
But I have a better idea. I say we make a list of far right Born Again Christians in this country. So more liberal Christians and Pagans and Hindus and Jews and Jains and Sikhs and Muslims and Buddists and atheists and agnostics and anyone else who realizes how dangerous you people are can boycott your businesses. Ah, but you'd be the first to scream persecution if that happened. Hypocrite.
UPDATE: The good pastor Mike Stahl has been getting a taste of his own medicine, it would seem. He's claiming to be getting a load of threats and hate mail. He is threatening those who write to him, (who don't agree with him,) with legal action. The following is his latest blog post.
IN REFERENCE TO THE THREATENING E-MAILS I AM STILL RECEIVING ( AND THOSE WHICH CAN BE CONSTRUED AS THREATS ) , AS A RESULT OF INDIVIDUALS VISITING VARIOUS ATHEIST BLOGS / SITES , I HAVE TURNED OVER , AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO ON A REGULAR BASIS , TO MY LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY COPIES OF THOSE EMAILS , AS WELL AS FILING AN OFFICIAL POLICE REPORT.
Title 18 U.S.C. § 875 : US Code - Section 875: Interstate communications states:
"(c) Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any
communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any
threat to injure the person of another, shall be fined under this
title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."
I am also in the process of consulting with an attorney for possible civil action.
You all have been publicly advised -please govern yourselves accordingly!
OK, Mikey, let me get this straight. It's fine and dandy for you to create a registry of atheists. But when those who read about your lunacy gave you a taste of the medicine that you would like all atheists to see, you're going to scream that people are being mean to you?
You are a hypocrite of the highest degree.
While I don't agree with threatening those who don't think the same way as you do, I feel that if you feel that it's OK to harass atheists, run them out of town, send them into hiding, destroy their businesses, send them threatening mail, well, then... What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Perhaps this will get you to understand why you don't create databases intended to harass law-abiding citizens, simply because they don't believe in your god.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Time Bandits
Ah, the timing of readings. Very few readers will get time frames right. The only reason anyone attempts them is because clients push for them. Time frames are a hideous idea. I refuse to give them anymore.
Once upon a time, I did. It felt right. It felt like a certain time of year. A number would float in my head, so that had to be how long before things happened, right? Wrong.
Time as we tell it is a construct of man. A year on Mars is twice what it is here. If we lived on Mercury, we'd all be living to ripe old ages, as a year there is only about 88 days on Earth. In other words, if the rest of the solar system doesn't keep time the way we do, what are the chances the universe at large does? Therefore, what I thought felt like a month or two turned out to be a year. Which led clients to ask me, why did it take so long? The answer is, because it did. But that's not an answer anyone wants to hear.
I'm feeling spring, right? Well, it finally happens in spring, but next year, not this year. The season is right, but the year isn't what you're expecting or wanting.
There are other reasons giving a time frame is a bad idea. If a client wants a time frame, chances are it's for one of two reasons. They've become frustrated with the situation and want to see some movement. Or, they want a commitment and they want it now. In the case of the former category, the writing is usually on the wall. It's time to move on. The latter category is another can of worms entirely.
While some men will fall into the latter category, it is mostly women who are in an all-fired hurry to find a man, get married and settle down. Women seem to be feeling their biological clocks earlier and earlier. Or it could be that things are becoming more global and I'm seeing more clients from cultures that are rather different than the one in which I was raised. There are still women out there being raised to believe that if they're not married and a mother by the age of 30, no matter how successful they are in their chosen careers, they are failures.
So let's say you were raised to believe you're a failure. Your 29th birthday is looming. The guy you've been dating for a few months hasn't given you a ring. You ask me when you're going to get engaged or if you are going to get engaged. I see the engagement, but it's not for another year or two. You hit the ceiling. You get mad at me, you get mad at him. Your mother is nagging you, so you need that husband and baby NOW! Not next year, not the year after that. NOW!
So you let this news fester. Mind you, you've been dating this guy for less than six months, so you really don't know him all that well, do you? Sure, you have built up a fantasy in your mind on what he's really like, as he's still on his best behavior. But you really don't know the real him. You don't know if he's saving up to buy you a rock the size of Gibraltar, as he's already figured out he wants to be with you, or that he wants some time without the commitment and bills of marriage. He still wants to have fun, with you of course. He still wants to hit restaurants. Have either of you even cooked for each other at this point? He's still taking you to dinner.
Have you spent more than a night together? Oh, you went to a cute little bed and breakfast in Vermont and went skiing all Saturday? That doesn't count. I mean, spend real time together. Where you get to see if he leaves his socks all over the bedroom floor. Where he gets to see if you're going to commandeer the shower curtain rod to dry your intimates. Where you have to see if either of you knows how to cook more than a microwave meal. Eating out every night can drive you to the poorhouse. How about sports? Spend two weeks at his place during the NFL playoffs. Especially if you hate football and he loves it. Even better, one of you adores baseball and the other doesn't understand that the seventh game of the World Series with the Cubs favored to win is a big thing. You need to take that little taste, to make sure it is what you really want. Just like when you're cooking.
It's like the pot of sauce I have cooking on the stove as I write this. It is from scratch, kind of, as the only palatable jar sauce (in my opinion, of course,) is Francesco Rinaldi and that's not available west of the Mississippi. But even that, I used to have to doctor up and cook for a few hours before it was edible. Also, my sauce isn't nearly as high in sodium per serving, or sugar. So I wait. I get out the tomato paste, dissolve it in water, (three cans of water to each can of paste,) I get out the tomato puree and the diced tomatoes. (I admit it, I'm too lazy to blanch Roma tomatoes myself, nor do I really have the room.) I get out the spices, the Parmesan, the garlic, the onion, the olive oil, bring to a simmer and then wait six hours, stirring every five minutes. Which means I have to be patient. The first hour isn't bad, as that's everything just getting going, the pot getting warm enough to simmer. But after it starts to simmer, the aroma starts to permeate the house. I can't work, as I can't ask clients who are paying me by the minute in chat to please wait while I stir the sauce, so the chunks of tomato and onion don't stick to the bottom of the pot and burn. Trust me, they can do that even with a teflon dutch oven.
Not only do I have to stir every five minutes for hours, I have to keep an eye on the temperature of the stove. Is the simmer too fast and going to go into a full boil that will ruin the sauce? Is the temperature too low and now instead of simmering, it's just staying warm and being tomato soup? I have to test it. Is it savory enough? Is there enough garlic? Oregano? Basil? Bay? Do I have to add sage to make it less sweet? Do I have to add basil to sweeten it up? Are the tomatoes tart enough that I have to add a small spoon of sugar to neutralize the acid? I have to wait and test and wait some more.
But I'm starting to hear my stomach rumble. I can't eat before I make sauce, as it would spoil my palate for testing the sauce. Sure, after it's been cooking a minimum of three hours, I can spread a bit on a slice of bread, to test for taste, consistency and all of that. But that's just a tease. Sure, I could spread some more sauce on a slice of bread. But if I keep doing that, when the sauce is finally ready, I won't be hungry anymore.
So I wait. I also hunger. Finally, when the sauce is done, do I get to dig right in? Nope. I have to find and remove all the bay leaves. Trust me, no one wants to stick one of those in their mouth. I have to decide what kind of pasta I'm going to use. Then I have to boil the water. Minimum of 20 minutes for the water to come to a boil in a spaghetti pot. Then I have to cook, drain and rinse the pasta. Then drain it again and toss and wait a few minutes longer for any excess water to drain. And if I decide to make chicken or eggplant parmesan to go with this sauce, I have to wait for that, too. Not only do I have to wait until the sauce is ready, but then I have to bread the chicken or eggplant. Give it a quick browning in the pan and then stick it in the oven from a half hour to an hour, depending on how thick the chicken is. But know what? It is worth the wait and it is worth the payoff.
But if I become impatient, I can't wait for the flavors to start to mix, mingle and meld before I start doctoring the basic recipe, I ruin the sauce. Yes, I have ruined the sauce in the past. In spite of making it for years, I sometimes try to get it to finish too soon, turn up the heat and burn it, or add too much of something. Then I have to try to fix what is ruined, (unless it burns, then forget it,) and it makes things harder. All because I let my hunger get the best of me and I was too impatient. If I try to serve the chicken parmesan too soon, the chicken is pink inside and makes everyone sick. So I'm patient.
But you have no patience, you want someone who will commit now. So you dump him and break his heart. He knew on the first date you were the one he wanted to marry, but instead, your desire to be Bridezilla is so strong, that you have lost all sense of propriety and you're acting like you might need psychiatric help. So you dump him to find someone who will get married right away. And you find yourself single and a disappointment to your family at 40. All because you lacked patience. So who am I to destroy this shot at happiness by telling you how long it's going to be before you're engaged? You need to be patient and just know it will happen.
So when you're in a massive hurry to get married, you really do have to ask yourself why. Are you afraid he won't be worth the wait? If that's the case, don't be in a hurry to commit. Are you afraid he will decide you're not worth the wait? If that's the case, may I suggest therapy to work on your insecurity issues? I'm not saying you're nuts, (but let's face it. Being in love can cause the most stable of people to act a bit nuts,) I'm just saying if you're that afraid that you're not worth the man you desire, you have some major issues to work through, so you don't chase him away.
Are you worried because all your friends are getting married and you want your party? Once again, that is your own issue that you have to work through. But if you're getting married at the same time all your friends are and you have a lot of friends in common who will be at all the weddings, you're not going to get nearly as good a gift as if you wait.
Are you in a hurry because of pressure from your family? It is YOUR life, not theirs. They have already lived their lives, don't allow them to live vicariously through you. Don't try to be what they want you to be, especially if it makes you feel a bit crazy and unhappy. Be your own person and move at your own pace. Once upon a time, I saw some comedienne on TV who was doing a routine on wedding season and the ancient aunts are saying to her, "when are you getting married? I love going to weddings!"
She said her answer to this is, "when are you dying? I love going to funerals."
A retort to think about, isn't it? Trust me, if you say that, no one will ask you again.
Don't let impatience get the best of you. This has become a fast food society. We want to drive up to a window and have our food waiting for us, within three minutes of ordering. So what if the food isn't high quality, we want it NOW! What do you mean, I have to wait for the fries to cook? I'd rather have the ones that sat for five hours instead of fresh, so I don't have to wait! We don't want to get dressed, go to the store and go DVD or CD shopping. We want to download the music and movies we want NOW! We don't care that MP3s or ACC files have a lot of loss of sound quality. We don't care that the pirated movie was filmed from a seat in the theater and people are talking, the sound is mushy and people are getting up and blocking the scene. We are willing to give up quality, in order to have it NOW!. That applies to relationships too. If the quality of your food is important to you, then you either cook yourself or go to a decent restaurant, where you wait. If the quality of your music is important to you, you go to the store and buy the CD, or you order it. You wait for the quality, instead of settling. If quality is important to you in a potential spouse, you'd better wait. Unless being the first of your friends to get a divorce is important to you too.
So if you want time frames, especially time frames that apply to how fast you think things should be moving, don't come to me. If you want it now, you can't wait a few months for the kinks to iron out, don't come to me either. You won't like what I have to say, especially when I force you to take a look at yourself. You also won't like the fact I won't give you a time frame. Especially if your entire sense of self worth means you need it now.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stir the sauce. Again.
Once upon a time, I did. It felt right. It felt like a certain time of year. A number would float in my head, so that had to be how long before things happened, right? Wrong.
Time as we tell it is a construct of man. A year on Mars is twice what it is here. If we lived on Mercury, we'd all be living to ripe old ages, as a year there is only about 88 days on Earth. In other words, if the rest of the solar system doesn't keep time the way we do, what are the chances the universe at large does? Therefore, what I thought felt like a month or two turned out to be a year. Which led clients to ask me, why did it take so long? The answer is, because it did. But that's not an answer anyone wants to hear.
I'm feeling spring, right? Well, it finally happens in spring, but next year, not this year. The season is right, but the year isn't what you're expecting or wanting.
There are other reasons giving a time frame is a bad idea. If a client wants a time frame, chances are it's for one of two reasons. They've become frustrated with the situation and want to see some movement. Or, they want a commitment and they want it now. In the case of the former category, the writing is usually on the wall. It's time to move on. The latter category is another can of worms entirely.
While some men will fall into the latter category, it is mostly women who are in an all-fired hurry to find a man, get married and settle down. Women seem to be feeling their biological clocks earlier and earlier. Or it could be that things are becoming more global and I'm seeing more clients from cultures that are rather different than the one in which I was raised. There are still women out there being raised to believe that if they're not married and a mother by the age of 30, no matter how successful they are in their chosen careers, they are failures.
So let's say you were raised to believe you're a failure. Your 29th birthday is looming. The guy you've been dating for a few months hasn't given you a ring. You ask me when you're going to get engaged or if you are going to get engaged. I see the engagement, but it's not for another year or two. You hit the ceiling. You get mad at me, you get mad at him. Your mother is nagging you, so you need that husband and baby NOW! Not next year, not the year after that. NOW!
So you let this news fester. Mind you, you've been dating this guy for less than six months, so you really don't know him all that well, do you? Sure, you have built up a fantasy in your mind on what he's really like, as he's still on his best behavior. But you really don't know the real him. You don't know if he's saving up to buy you a rock the size of Gibraltar, as he's already figured out he wants to be with you, or that he wants some time without the commitment and bills of marriage. He still wants to have fun, with you of course. He still wants to hit restaurants. Have either of you even cooked for each other at this point? He's still taking you to dinner.
Have you spent more than a night together? Oh, you went to a cute little bed and breakfast in Vermont and went skiing all Saturday? That doesn't count. I mean, spend real time together. Where you get to see if he leaves his socks all over the bedroom floor. Where he gets to see if you're going to commandeer the shower curtain rod to dry your intimates. Where you have to see if either of you knows how to cook more than a microwave meal. Eating out every night can drive you to the poorhouse. How about sports? Spend two weeks at his place during the NFL playoffs. Especially if you hate football and he loves it. Even better, one of you adores baseball and the other doesn't understand that the seventh game of the World Series with the Cubs favored to win is a big thing. You need to take that little taste, to make sure it is what you really want. Just like when you're cooking.
It's like the pot of sauce I have cooking on the stove as I write this. It is from scratch, kind of, as the only palatable jar sauce (in my opinion, of course,) is Francesco Rinaldi and that's not available west of the Mississippi. But even that, I used to have to doctor up and cook for a few hours before it was edible. Also, my sauce isn't nearly as high in sodium per serving, or sugar. So I wait. I get out the tomato paste, dissolve it in water, (three cans of water to each can of paste,) I get out the tomato puree and the diced tomatoes. (I admit it, I'm too lazy to blanch Roma tomatoes myself, nor do I really have the room.) I get out the spices, the Parmesan, the garlic, the onion, the olive oil, bring to a simmer and then wait six hours, stirring every five minutes. Which means I have to be patient. The first hour isn't bad, as that's everything just getting going, the pot getting warm enough to simmer. But after it starts to simmer, the aroma starts to permeate the house. I can't work, as I can't ask clients who are paying me by the minute in chat to please wait while I stir the sauce, so the chunks of tomato and onion don't stick to the bottom of the pot and burn. Trust me, they can do that even with a teflon dutch oven.
Not only do I have to stir every five minutes for hours, I have to keep an eye on the temperature of the stove. Is the simmer too fast and going to go into a full boil that will ruin the sauce? Is the temperature too low and now instead of simmering, it's just staying warm and being tomato soup? I have to test it. Is it savory enough? Is there enough garlic? Oregano? Basil? Bay? Do I have to add sage to make it less sweet? Do I have to add basil to sweeten it up? Are the tomatoes tart enough that I have to add a small spoon of sugar to neutralize the acid? I have to wait and test and wait some more.
But I'm starting to hear my stomach rumble. I can't eat before I make sauce, as it would spoil my palate for testing the sauce. Sure, after it's been cooking a minimum of three hours, I can spread a bit on a slice of bread, to test for taste, consistency and all of that. But that's just a tease. Sure, I could spread some more sauce on a slice of bread. But if I keep doing that, when the sauce is finally ready, I won't be hungry anymore.
So I wait. I also hunger. Finally, when the sauce is done, do I get to dig right in? Nope. I have to find and remove all the bay leaves. Trust me, no one wants to stick one of those in their mouth. I have to decide what kind of pasta I'm going to use. Then I have to boil the water. Minimum of 20 minutes for the water to come to a boil in a spaghetti pot. Then I have to cook, drain and rinse the pasta. Then drain it again and toss and wait a few minutes longer for any excess water to drain. And if I decide to make chicken or eggplant parmesan to go with this sauce, I have to wait for that, too. Not only do I have to wait until the sauce is ready, but then I have to bread the chicken or eggplant. Give it a quick browning in the pan and then stick it in the oven from a half hour to an hour, depending on how thick the chicken is. But know what? It is worth the wait and it is worth the payoff.
But if I become impatient, I can't wait for the flavors to start to mix, mingle and meld before I start doctoring the basic recipe, I ruin the sauce. Yes, I have ruined the sauce in the past. In spite of making it for years, I sometimes try to get it to finish too soon, turn up the heat and burn it, or add too much of something. Then I have to try to fix what is ruined, (unless it burns, then forget it,) and it makes things harder. All because I let my hunger get the best of me and I was too impatient. If I try to serve the chicken parmesan too soon, the chicken is pink inside and makes everyone sick. So I'm patient.
But you have no patience, you want someone who will commit now. So you dump him and break his heart. He knew on the first date you were the one he wanted to marry, but instead, your desire to be Bridezilla is so strong, that you have lost all sense of propriety and you're acting like you might need psychiatric help. So you dump him to find someone who will get married right away. And you find yourself single and a disappointment to your family at 40. All because you lacked patience. So who am I to destroy this shot at happiness by telling you how long it's going to be before you're engaged? You need to be patient and just know it will happen.
So when you're in a massive hurry to get married, you really do have to ask yourself why. Are you afraid he won't be worth the wait? If that's the case, don't be in a hurry to commit. Are you afraid he will decide you're not worth the wait? If that's the case, may I suggest therapy to work on your insecurity issues? I'm not saying you're nuts, (but let's face it. Being in love can cause the most stable of people to act a bit nuts,) I'm just saying if you're that afraid that you're not worth the man you desire, you have some major issues to work through, so you don't chase him away.
Are you worried because all your friends are getting married and you want your party? Once again, that is your own issue that you have to work through. But if you're getting married at the same time all your friends are and you have a lot of friends in common who will be at all the weddings, you're not going to get nearly as good a gift as if you wait.
Are you in a hurry because of pressure from your family? It is YOUR life, not theirs. They have already lived their lives, don't allow them to live vicariously through you. Don't try to be what they want you to be, especially if it makes you feel a bit crazy and unhappy. Be your own person and move at your own pace. Once upon a time, I saw some comedienne on TV who was doing a routine on wedding season and the ancient aunts are saying to her, "when are you getting married? I love going to weddings!"
She said her answer to this is, "when are you dying? I love going to funerals."
A retort to think about, isn't it? Trust me, if you say that, no one will ask you again.
Don't let impatience get the best of you. This has become a fast food society. We want to drive up to a window and have our food waiting for us, within three minutes of ordering. So what if the food isn't high quality, we want it NOW! What do you mean, I have to wait for the fries to cook? I'd rather have the ones that sat for five hours instead of fresh, so I don't have to wait! We don't want to get dressed, go to the store and go DVD or CD shopping. We want to download the music and movies we want NOW! We don't care that MP3s or ACC files have a lot of loss of sound quality. We don't care that the pirated movie was filmed from a seat in the theater and people are talking, the sound is mushy and people are getting up and blocking the scene. We are willing to give up quality, in order to have it NOW!. That applies to relationships too. If the quality of your food is important to you, then you either cook yourself or go to a decent restaurant, where you wait. If the quality of your music is important to you, you go to the store and buy the CD, or you order it. You wait for the quality, instead of settling. If quality is important to you in a potential spouse, you'd better wait. Unless being the first of your friends to get a divorce is important to you too.
So if you want time frames, especially time frames that apply to how fast you think things should be moving, don't come to me. If you want it now, you can't wait a few months for the kinks to iron out, don't come to me either. You won't like what I have to say, especially when I force you to take a look at yourself. You also won't like the fact I won't give you a time frame. Especially if your entire sense of self worth means you need it now.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stir the sauce. Again.
Friday, May 20, 2011
O Rapturous Day! Callooh! Callay!
My apologies to Lewis Carroll.
I just couldn't let May 21 pass without commenting on things. If you're an American, you've probably heard about Harold Camping claiming the Rapture is tomorrow. Unless you live under a rock. It has been on the news, it's been in all sorts of blogs, the Huffington Post, Bible study sites and of course, Harold Camping has been encouraging his followers for the last two years to spam chat rooms. Which is how I first heard about it.
Most reports are taking the same mocking tone. Most reports are also coming from those who believe in some form of Christianity. That's not to say atheists and pagans aren't getting their digs in. Trust me, they are. Everything from Facebook events such as, "Jesus Is Not Coming Back," and, "Post Rapture Looting," to the people at the Interactive Bible broadcasting live all day tomorrow from Jerusalem. Why? To prove the Rapture is false doctrine.
Yep. All those believers aren't even following biblical doctrine. They are following in the footsteps of John Nelson Darby and the Plymouth Brethren. Who were NOT New World settlers in Massachusetts. They were an apocalyptic sect that invented the Rapture in 1830. Before them, the Rapture didn't exist. No church taught of the Rapture before the Brethren. No one. It. Did. Not. Exist.
The Plymouth Brethren were formed in 1827, in Ireland. It traveled across to England in 1831, where it became rather popular with well-to-do men. Here, these men who were going to have a harder time getting into Heaven than it would be to pass a camel through the eye of a needle were suddenly offered salvation.
The Brethren were called that because they called each other "brother." Simple as that. Most of the followers were people who were pious, but were disenchanted with the Church of Ireland and the Church of England. They felt that they weren't strict enough, that they had gotten away from the roots of Christianity. They were an evangelical group, with no real leadership. Many wrote literature that became part of the belief system. Among the most influential was John Nelson Darby, the father of Dispensationalism. When he dreamed up the Rapture in 1830, he said it just popped into his head.
Just popped into his head. Think about that.
But many believed him. Back in the 1830s, the Brethren were convinced that they were living in the end times. Sound familiar? They were the first end times cult. And of course, only they would be raptured.
Well, most of them lived to be old men and the Brethren are still active in Ireland and England, although their numbers have been shrinking in the last 60 years.
The doctrine of this group gave birth to all those Born Again groups, the Pentecostals and all those modern day preachers who are making a mint off of fear. They interpret the Bible as they see fit and use passages out of context. All to convince people to become "Christians", because if you're just your run of the mill Methodist, or (god forbid,) a Catholic, you are not a real "Christian" and you have not been saved.
If I could go back in time and hit anyone with a baseball bat, it would be John Nelson Darby. Without him, Hal Lindsey, Bob Jones, Jack Van Impe, Tim LaHaye, Harold Camping and so many others would have had to have gotten real jobs.
So now we have Harold Camping and his followers telling us that tomorrow evening, at 6 PM in every local time zone, there are going to be earthquakes like you have never seen before. They will start in the Pacific Ring of Fire. Now, given the last few months, an earthquake in New Zealand isn't that big of a longshot. It is in one of the first time zones that will see 6 PM. They've been having a bitch of an autumn down there. Christchurch is still in ruins and then a few weeks ago, tornadoes hit the North Island. So, not a long shot.
This is a very bold statement by Camping, in my opinion. He's not taking into account that Southern Hemisphere countries are on Standard Time at this time of year and Northern Hemisphere countries that observe it are on Daylight Savings Time. Then you have the pockets that don't bother with DST. As a matter of fact, Asia doesn't even bother with DST. Arizona doesn't observe DST in most of the state. Nor does Saskatchewan. A good bit of Africa is in the Northern Hemisphere. Only Morocco and Western Sahara observe DST. Nor is it observed in the parts of South America north of the Equator. So it's going to get confusing tomorrow, as the true believers try to observe in every single time zone, as they wait to be lifted into Heaven. Never have I seen so many people so happy at the thought of death.
But anyway, rolling earthquakes as the clock strikes 6 PM, as the tectonic plates scream. You know, this is a trick I want to see. Every single place on the planet, no matter how remote, suffering earthquakes. Is that even a geographic possibility?
What really bothers me in all of this are all the people who are defaulting on their mortgages, quitting their jobs and spending their last penny because tomorrow the world ends and they won't need money. I believe in sharing the wealth, but that's just stupid. They are going into debt to pay for billboards to spread the word of their cult leader. They are fearful that their loved ones won't be raptured with them. They're also inflicting themselves on strangers, believing they are attempting to save their souls.
This has happened once before in my lifetime. In 1975, the Jehovah's Witnesses were so sure it was 6000 years after the creation of Adam and Armageddon. People sold their houses, their possessions, they went through their savings. They went into the ministry full time, Witnessing, so they could save people. Nothing happened.
These days, the Jehovah's Witnesses are claiming that they never predicted Armageddon in 1975. However, this video has audio from a speech Fred Franz, then VP of the Watchtower Society, gave at a Watchtower convention.
So, does any of that sound familiar to anyone? It would if you've been paying attention to the Rapture believers running around now.
It doesn't surprise me that Camping preaches what sounds like it came straight from the Watchtower Society. Depending on who you listen to, he either left his post as a Reformed Church Elder in 1988, or he was "asked" to leave. He then created Family Radio Stations and I'm told that in certain markets he had a TV show. He started preaching a form of Christianity that is half a step away from the Jehovah's Witnesses, mixing in some Mormon doctrine for good measure.
The Watchtower Society says that 144,000 are getting into Heaven at Armageddon. Camping preaches that 2% of the population will be raptured. Those 2% are roughly his followers. Both claim only their followers will get into Heaven. The rest will be left to suffer.
Camping has also done away with the 7 years of Tribulation, followed by Jesus Christ ruling a perfect Earth for 1000 years. At least the Watchtower believes in that 1000 years of a perfect world. Camping says that those of us who are left behind will die on October 21.
Tomorrow won't be the first time he got it wrong. He wrote a book in 1992 that claimed the Rapture would be on September 6, 1994. Granted, he did add a little caveat in the book, saying that he could be wrong and the date could be May 21, 2011. So, when he was wrong, he announced that it wasn't the Rapture in 1994, but the end of the Church Age. Yep. Go to church on Sunday instead of listening to him? You're an unsaved heretic who is going to go through 6 months of hell on earth starting tomorrow. Jewish? You've got until tomorrow to start believing in Jesus if you don't want to get left behind.
Really, this is the crap the man preaches. I would add a video of him going on about it, but his voice is sleep inducing and he takes FOREVER to get to the point. So I will spare you.
He did give an interview to New York Magazine, in which he said, "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."
When asked what happens on May 22, if he and his followers haven't been raptured, he said, "I’m not even thinking about that at all. It. Is. Going. To. Happen."
That reminds me of a scene at the end of the original Wicker Man. When Sgt. Howie tells Lord Summerisle to tell his people that a sacrifice won't keep the crops from failing, Summerisle replies in an authoritative voice, " I know it will."
Faith, it is all about faith. However, by 7 PM in local time zones, Camping's followers will have lost their faith. Just like all the Rapture dates before this one, we will go about our Saturday nights as we normally do. We will wake up on Sunday morning. I feel for the people who are so lacking in their personal lives that they lived for this doctrine and have basically destroyed their lives in preparation for death. They will have spent their savings, many won't have jobs to go to anymore on Monday morning and some will only have the vans they bought to advertise the end to live in. It is going to be a mess for his followers, who are going to have to deal with the fact that they are going to have to learn to live. Not to mention that most states only pay unemployment if you're let go.
If Camping really doesn't know what he's going to tell his listeners when they tune on on Sunday morning, he's kind of screwed. These people are going to be looking to him for answers as to why their god has forsaken them. There are those among them who will have nothing to live for, come 6:01 PM in their local time zones. Will Camping decide that he was wrong yet again and change the date for the Rapture to October 21? That is what my money is on. I just know, it's going to get weird fast for a lot of people. I'm willing to bet a number of them will lose their faith immediately.
Speaking of lost faith, let's go back to the Plymouth Brethren for a moment. There is a story of an adolescent lad named Alexander, or Alick, which was his nickname. Alick's father would take him on trips to other towns in England as he evangelized. He said his father spoke with great authority. His father published tracts that he handed out as he went out among the people. Alick followed the doctrine to the letter, just like his father. Until his father died, then young Alick became a misotheist, his hatred of a god who would let his father die such a horrible death from cancer drove him away. That young boy grew up, started publishing his own tracts, but before he did he changed his first name to Aleister. His last name? It was his father's name and his father before him. His last name was Crowley.
I do wonder if any of the adolescents who are waiting to be with god tomorrow who will be disappointed will end up taking that route. The law of averages says yes.
Let's also not forget, you're not going to find a thing on the CDC website about Rapture readiness. They have a page up that explains the real threat to public health. It's not the Rapture, oh no. It's the zombie apocalypse.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp
I just couldn't let May 21 pass without commenting on things. If you're an American, you've probably heard about Harold Camping claiming the Rapture is tomorrow. Unless you live under a rock. It has been on the news, it's been in all sorts of blogs, the Huffington Post, Bible study sites and of course, Harold Camping has been encouraging his followers for the last two years to spam chat rooms. Which is how I first heard about it.
Most reports are taking the same mocking tone. Most reports are also coming from those who believe in some form of Christianity. That's not to say atheists and pagans aren't getting their digs in. Trust me, they are. Everything from Facebook events such as, "Jesus Is Not Coming Back," and, "Post Rapture Looting," to the people at the Interactive Bible broadcasting live all day tomorrow from Jerusalem. Why? To prove the Rapture is false doctrine.
Yep. All those believers aren't even following biblical doctrine. They are following in the footsteps of John Nelson Darby and the Plymouth Brethren. Who were NOT New World settlers in Massachusetts. They were an apocalyptic sect that invented the Rapture in 1830. Before them, the Rapture didn't exist. No church taught of the Rapture before the Brethren. No one. It. Did. Not. Exist.
The Plymouth Brethren were formed in 1827, in Ireland. It traveled across to England in 1831, where it became rather popular with well-to-do men. Here, these men who were going to have a harder time getting into Heaven than it would be to pass a camel through the eye of a needle were suddenly offered salvation.
The Brethren were called that because they called each other "brother." Simple as that. Most of the followers were people who were pious, but were disenchanted with the Church of Ireland and the Church of England. They felt that they weren't strict enough, that they had gotten away from the roots of Christianity. They were an evangelical group, with no real leadership. Many wrote literature that became part of the belief system. Among the most influential was John Nelson Darby, the father of Dispensationalism. When he dreamed up the Rapture in 1830, he said it just popped into his head.
Just popped into his head. Think about that.
But many believed him. Back in the 1830s, the Brethren were convinced that they were living in the end times. Sound familiar? They were the first end times cult. And of course, only they would be raptured.
Well, most of them lived to be old men and the Brethren are still active in Ireland and England, although their numbers have been shrinking in the last 60 years.
The doctrine of this group gave birth to all those Born Again groups, the Pentecostals and all those modern day preachers who are making a mint off of fear. They interpret the Bible as they see fit and use passages out of context. All to convince people to become "Christians", because if you're just your run of the mill Methodist, or (god forbid,) a Catholic, you are not a real "Christian" and you have not been saved.
If I could go back in time and hit anyone with a baseball bat, it would be John Nelson Darby. Without him, Hal Lindsey, Bob Jones, Jack Van Impe, Tim LaHaye, Harold Camping and so many others would have had to have gotten real jobs.
So now we have Harold Camping and his followers telling us that tomorrow evening, at 6 PM in every local time zone, there are going to be earthquakes like you have never seen before. They will start in the Pacific Ring of Fire. Now, given the last few months, an earthquake in New Zealand isn't that big of a longshot. It is in one of the first time zones that will see 6 PM. They've been having a bitch of an autumn down there. Christchurch is still in ruins and then a few weeks ago, tornadoes hit the North Island. So, not a long shot.
This is a very bold statement by Camping, in my opinion. He's not taking into account that Southern Hemisphere countries are on Standard Time at this time of year and Northern Hemisphere countries that observe it are on Daylight Savings Time. Then you have the pockets that don't bother with DST. As a matter of fact, Asia doesn't even bother with DST. Arizona doesn't observe DST in most of the state. Nor does Saskatchewan. A good bit of Africa is in the Northern Hemisphere. Only Morocco and Western Sahara observe DST. Nor is it observed in the parts of South America north of the Equator. So it's going to get confusing tomorrow, as the true believers try to observe in every single time zone, as they wait to be lifted into Heaven. Never have I seen so many people so happy at the thought of death.
But anyway, rolling earthquakes as the clock strikes 6 PM, as the tectonic plates scream. You know, this is a trick I want to see. Every single place on the planet, no matter how remote, suffering earthquakes. Is that even a geographic possibility?
What really bothers me in all of this are all the people who are defaulting on their mortgages, quitting their jobs and spending their last penny because tomorrow the world ends and they won't need money. I believe in sharing the wealth, but that's just stupid. They are going into debt to pay for billboards to spread the word of their cult leader. They are fearful that their loved ones won't be raptured with them. They're also inflicting themselves on strangers, believing they are attempting to save their souls.
This has happened once before in my lifetime. In 1975, the Jehovah's Witnesses were so sure it was 6000 years after the creation of Adam and Armageddon. People sold their houses, their possessions, they went through their savings. They went into the ministry full time, Witnessing, so they could save people. Nothing happened.
These days, the Jehovah's Witnesses are claiming that they never predicted Armageddon in 1975. However, this video has audio from a speech Fred Franz, then VP of the Watchtower Society, gave at a Watchtower convention.
So, does any of that sound familiar to anyone? It would if you've been paying attention to the Rapture believers running around now.
It doesn't surprise me that Camping preaches what sounds like it came straight from the Watchtower Society. Depending on who you listen to, he either left his post as a Reformed Church Elder in 1988, or he was "asked" to leave. He then created Family Radio Stations and I'm told that in certain markets he had a TV show. He started preaching a form of Christianity that is half a step away from the Jehovah's Witnesses, mixing in some Mormon doctrine for good measure.
The Watchtower Society says that 144,000 are getting into Heaven at Armageddon. Camping preaches that 2% of the population will be raptured. Those 2% are roughly his followers. Both claim only their followers will get into Heaven. The rest will be left to suffer.
Camping has also done away with the 7 years of Tribulation, followed by Jesus Christ ruling a perfect Earth for 1000 years. At least the Watchtower believes in that 1000 years of a perfect world. Camping says that those of us who are left behind will die on October 21.
Tomorrow won't be the first time he got it wrong. He wrote a book in 1992 that claimed the Rapture would be on September 6, 1994. Granted, he did add a little caveat in the book, saying that he could be wrong and the date could be May 21, 2011. So, when he was wrong, he announced that it wasn't the Rapture in 1994, but the end of the Church Age. Yep. Go to church on Sunday instead of listening to him? You're an unsaved heretic who is going to go through 6 months of hell on earth starting tomorrow. Jewish? You've got until tomorrow to start believing in Jesus if you don't want to get left behind.
Really, this is the crap the man preaches. I would add a video of him going on about it, but his voice is sleep inducing and he takes FOREVER to get to the point. So I will spare you.
He did give an interview to New York Magazine, in which he said, "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."
When asked what happens on May 22, if he and his followers haven't been raptured, he said, "I’m not even thinking about that at all. It. Is. Going. To. Happen."
That reminds me of a scene at the end of the original Wicker Man. When Sgt. Howie tells Lord Summerisle to tell his people that a sacrifice won't keep the crops from failing, Summerisle replies in an authoritative voice, " I know it will."
Faith, it is all about faith. However, by 7 PM in local time zones, Camping's followers will have lost their faith. Just like all the Rapture dates before this one, we will go about our Saturday nights as we normally do. We will wake up on Sunday morning. I feel for the people who are so lacking in their personal lives that they lived for this doctrine and have basically destroyed their lives in preparation for death. They will have spent their savings, many won't have jobs to go to anymore on Monday morning and some will only have the vans they bought to advertise the end to live in. It is going to be a mess for his followers, who are going to have to deal with the fact that they are going to have to learn to live. Not to mention that most states only pay unemployment if you're let go.
If Camping really doesn't know what he's going to tell his listeners when they tune on on Sunday morning, he's kind of screwed. These people are going to be looking to him for answers as to why their god has forsaken them. There are those among them who will have nothing to live for, come 6:01 PM in their local time zones. Will Camping decide that he was wrong yet again and change the date for the Rapture to October 21? That is what my money is on. I just know, it's going to get weird fast for a lot of people. I'm willing to bet a number of them will lose their faith immediately.
Speaking of lost faith, let's go back to the Plymouth Brethren for a moment. There is a story of an adolescent lad named Alexander, or Alick, which was his nickname. Alick's father would take him on trips to other towns in England as he evangelized. He said his father spoke with great authority. His father published tracts that he handed out as he went out among the people. Alick followed the doctrine to the letter, just like his father. Until his father died, then young Alick became a misotheist, his hatred of a god who would let his father die such a horrible death from cancer drove him away. That young boy grew up, started publishing his own tracts, but before he did he changed his first name to Aleister. His last name? It was his father's name and his father before him. His last name was Crowley.
I do wonder if any of the adolescents who are waiting to be with god tomorrow who will be disappointed will end up taking that route. The law of averages says yes.
Let's also not forget, you're not going to find a thing on the CDC website about Rapture readiness. They have a page up that explains the real threat to public health. It's not the Rapture, oh no. It's the zombie apocalypse.
http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Way of the Seer
Hey you. Yeah, you. Are you like, special and stuff? Like, no one understands you and you have no real friends? Everyone calls you weird? People switch seats if you sit next to them on the train or bus, even though you showered and used deodorant that morning? You feel excluded at work, school, in life? All you really want is to fit in? You know that you're meant for something greater than the wage slave job you have at some big box chain? You've read all the big names in self-help off the New Age shelves at Barnes and Noble, but you still can't find your niche? Well then, a new cult leader New Age guru has the movement for you!
Supposedly, this video is taking the Internet by storm. In other words, people who jump anything that's in fashion as long as it's feel-good, fluffy and New Age-y are eating it up, while others are asking where the wisdom in the video lies. For those of us in the latter category, all we see is a sales pitch that's nearly ten minutes long, half sung by a bad wannabe pop-star/cult leader, er, I mean guru by the name of Garrett John LoPorto.
The video is the Wayseers Manifesto. He spells it Wayseer, but pronounces it Way See-er. The video starts with a man with generic good looks picking up the courtesy phone in a big box store and sending the call out to all "rule-breakers, misfits, troublemakers, free spirits, pioneers, visionaries and nonconformists." That everything you've been told is wrong with you is actually right with you and you see things that others don't.
In other words, let's try to hook in the disenfranchised with an overinflated sense of worth crowd right away. If you think you're special and the rules are for other people, this manifesto is for you.
Now, I have an issue with this right away. Let's say someone is in a deep psychosis and they're newly diagnosed and therefore, still quite paranoid and seeing things. Hearing voices. Suddenly, that person is told that they're special, nothing is wrong with his or her brain. Seeing things that others don't isn't a sign of psychosis, it's a sign of being special. The "Establishment" just wants to keep you down, man!
I'm not being snarky here. About ten years ago I dated someone who, while I was dating him, had a psychotic break. The "spirits in the mirror" were talking to him. Morrissey, Danzig and calculus held the secrets to the universe. He was paranoid. He developed the Renfield laugh. He became positive he saw the comet that was going to kill us all. When he sent me email saying that, I was more or less relieved at the time to see that a meteorite had streaked across the sky that morning, at the time he was driving and saw the "comet". The meteorite was so spectacular that it streaked across the sky from Canada to I believe it was North Carolina. But in his mind, it was the end of the planet.
So, I convinced him to pay a visit to his mother. Who convinced him to go to the hospital. Where he was put on Risperdal. Which he took for all of two weeks, as he felt that it was destroying his visions. Last I heard from him, he was mad at me, as I refused to take him in and take care of him, so he was going to go live in California with his father, who didn't believe he had any form of mental illness. So a person in the right state of paranoia who hears the message that there is nothing wrong with them that Wayseers can't fix, well, that could be a disaster for that person.
Thewannabe cult leader self-help guru singing to us goes on to tell us that we were meant to be rule breakers, not because we're rebels or because we want to flaunt authority, but because we know the "there's a better way". In other words, he's trying to fuel a mental anarchy, but only as long as you follow his rules. Also, as those of you who are familiar with the signs will pick up, this is the first in a long list of behaviors he endorses that are signs of being a sociopath.
Our impulses are a gift, according to this man. Impulsive eating, impulsive shopping, impulsive sexual activity, well, I'm sure he'd consider this a good thing as long as you're a hot bubble-brain who will spend the entire sexual encounter telling him how brilliant he is. Our impulses it seems are "a key to the miraculous." Yes, it will be a miracle if you can pay off your credit card after that last bout of impulse shopping at Chanel. OK, now I'm being snarky. But once again, impulsive behavior is the sign of a sociopath.
Next we're told mood swings are the "natural pulse of life." Not something that should be controlled, because when you don't take your medication, everyone is afraid of you. They're only afraid of you as you scream and cry and start cutting yourself and threatening suicide because they're part of the "Establishment." According to our new guru here, they give you "unstoppable energy when you're high, deep soulful insight when you're low." Has this man ever met someone with untreated bipolar disorder? I think not. The lows do anything other than give the bipolar deep insight. They might sleep for 20 hours straight after a manic episode where they're up for three days and acting like they're on speed. Or does he mean the dreams where they're being persecuted by everyone around them are the deep soulful insights?
Ah, but next we learn there is no such thing as mental illness or a disorder. Being diagnosed means it's society who is sick, not you, but society points its finger at you.
But see, you're not using your illness or disorder properly according to this man. All the great pioneers and innovators had mental illness or some odd disorder, according to him. We are then treated to images of Richard Branson, Albert Einstein, Buckminster Fuller, Martin Luther King Jr., John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Muhammad Ali, Timothy Leary, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff (and his cheeseburger), Mother Teresa, Bob Marley, Mahatma Gandhi, The Who and a few people who I have no idea who they are. Are we to believe that Mahatma Gandhi and Charlie Sheen are cut from the same cloth? Are we to believe Sheen is someone to emulate?
Also, the traits he lists for people who have found "The Way" and who were rule breakers and visionaries, well, it's nice to put up pictures of people like Fuller and Gandhi. But let's not forget that Hitler and Mussolini and Manson and Dahmer and Stalin and Pol Pot all had these traits too.
Now, after telling you how special and different you are from the "Establishment," he goes on to sing, "we are all the same you know. Because we're all effected by The Way."
Excuse me? The Way is a well known cult. Pardon my language. The Way is a very, VERY impassioned right-wing Christian organization where people have written stories about their experiences, the abuse and their ultimate escape. It has a few offshoots by escapees who believed the doctrine, but didn't like the way they were told to shun friends and family who didn't believe the same way they did. So I hope he's not talking about them.
Then he repeats those lines, but this time, we're all attracted to the flame. And this melody he supposedly wrote sounds an awful lot like a Brian Eno piece. Maybe by the end of writing this I'll be able to jog my memory as to which Eno piece he's plagiarizing.
But now we are back to "The Way". The Way is natural order. Uh-oh. I'm going to have to stop striking out cult leader. This is a sales pitch. Join my cult, full of misfits just like you.
Wow. I'm not even three minutes into this video.
Next he tries to explain what "The Way" means. Basically, it's the will of God, but which god? I thought for a second he was going to try to compare it to The All from Hermetics. He almost did. But then he sidetracked. He goes on to talk about how "The Way" is the source of everything. Sounds like The All to me. But like, he has to call it something else so he can get his cult off the ground, right? He can't use "The Force" without getting sued. Too bad. Think of the Star Wars fans he could recruit.
But we're finally getting to the meat and potatoes of hissales pitch philosophy. Since most people can't see or find "The Way" by themselves, that's where Wayseers come in. People who are the keepers of the flame. (I wonder if this is the violet flame of the I AM movement?) So as Wayseers are savants who see the answer without having to think, who just know the answers, they are here to help the rest of us see the light "The Way". In other words, once your friends start buying his book and signing up for his paid website, you are never going to hear the end of the sales pitch to get you to join, so you can be as special as they are. Reminds me of EST in that regard.
A true Wayseer can't show his work and just knows the right answer. And when "The Way" is present, so are they. Somehow, Conan O'Brien dancing on his desk and Ellen DeGeneris doing her little dance and some woman from a scene from some chick flick dancing somehow have something to do with "The Way" being present. From which I can only conclude, "The Way" has no rhythm and can't dance.
Next, he goes on about "neurological repression" as the prefrontal cortex censors our impulses and thoughts from the unconscious. The job of the prefrontal cortex is to help us along with social graces and the brain is highly evolved. It doesn't say censor your thoughts, it says to think before acting impulsively. Think and reason before you act. Nothing about censoring the unconscious mind. Dreams are manifestations of our unconscious mind and let's face it. Our dreams bring our unconscious thoughts and worries to the forefront. So I don't know what this guy is on about, but as I can't seem to find anything about his education, I can only guess he isn't a neurologist or psychiatrist.
However, any form of self censoring keeps us from finding "The Way." According to this guy. All I can really think of as he's on about the brain is the Discordian slogan: "Consult your pineal gland."
It would seem, if you've watched the video so far and are basking in the feel-good "I'm OK, you're OK" message, then you have overthrown the "fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex." No, really, he half sings that.
Yep. If his warm and fuzzy you're not mentally ill message appeals to you, then you have overthrown what society wants you to be. You are special, you are in the 10% who have found "The Way." At this point, he throws in scenes from "The Matrix." You are Neo! Don't you feel special?
LoPorto then launches into a message about revolution and going against society that drags on and on. Basically, anyone who has any manners or feels that society is necessary for humans, you don't see "The Way." "The Way" is all about your self interest and what YOU WANT. You are a victim of society! All those people who don't defy social conventions, they are sheep. This is where we get to the heart of the sociopathic message.
He claims 90% of humanity take social conventions and the rules very seriously. Is he trying to kid us? How many of you can say that 90% of the people you know are straight laced and follow all the rules? We ALL make our own rules for our own lives. Unless of course, he's encouraging people to break the law. Then we have a new problem.
LoPorto calls 90% of society psychotic in this video. No, he gets that backwards. But a lot of this video is backwards. Wayseers conform to creative and destructive acts? So our cult leader is showing us that he is a psychopath, looking for followers who will perform destructive acts against society for him when the time comes? This is the message I'm getting from the video.
This isn't the first time Garrett John LoPorto has tried to start a movement. The last time, he tried to cash in on "The DaVinci Code" craze with his DaVinci Method. It was designed to help those with ADD and ADHD use their disorder to make their brains work for them. I guess it didn't sell the way he wanted it to, as now he's pushing The Wayseers.
Go to the website and you will find a quiz that is almost identical to his DaVinci Method quiz. Are you a Wayseer? Are you a DaVinci? Chances are anyone who takes either quiz is going to find out that yes, they are special, they do fit. So buy my books! Besides, to get the quiz results, you have to give them your email address on both sites, so expect the spam to roll in!
Yep. The message of the Wayseers is so special that you can only order the book directly from the website and until you spend that $35 +postage and handling, you are just lost. You will never find the truth. I love you, you're special, now give me your money, follow me and when I give the call for destruction, you will answer. Of course, if you can't justify buying the book at the moment, you can join his other website for a mere $15 a month and interact with other Wayseers and get the wisdom of your guru, too.
Of course, if you're a good little Wayseer, you will give the website your email address, which will give you access to the first chapter of the book. As I'm sure this book isn't on Pirate Bay or any other site like that yet, I took one for the team and got the free chapter. It starts with the story of an egg that a chicken hatched, that was actually an eagle. And the eagle didn't fit in well with the other chickens. Didn't I read this story as a child? I do believe I did. Except it was a swan being raised by ducks! It was called "The Ugly Duckling!" First, he steals from Brian Eno and now, he steals from Hans Christian Andersen! I wonder who else he steals from?
But wait, hold the phone! First page, first chapter states, "Wayseers usually carry a common gene - a genetic polymorphism called DRD4 exon III 7-repeat allele. (DRD4 7R for short.) This is the DaVinci Method redux! That is the gene that is most commonly associated with ADD and ADHD. It is also linked to dopamine receptor 4, which is linked to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, impulse disorders, binging and purging, well, you get the idea. A sociopath is trying to start a movement to get people with mental disease and disorders to follow him!
Of course, you don't have to have mental disease to be a Wayseer. If you don't have any of the DRD4 disorders, if you've done enough LSD to open the doors of perception, you're a Wayseer according to LoPorto too. So if you don't have a disorder, start dropping that acid so you can be a Wayseer!
However, a good number of people who jump every New Age movement are already following him and not paying attention to the fact he is looking for those who have clinical diagnoses to start his cult. He has written for the Huffington Post and he is getting an audience. Not to mention a largish following. Considering he is looking for people to take off their meds and brainwash, can that fortified compound in Montana be far behind? I don't think Elizabeth Clare Prophet is using hers anymore.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You still feel alone? You don't fit the ADHD profile that Garret LoPorto is looking for in a follower? You feel let down by yet another New Age movement? You feel left out of yet another cult? Don't worry, I'm sure Scientology will take you. Their message and indoctrination might be less harmful, too.
BTW, the music he uses is Brian Eno's "The Big Ship." I finally figured that out.
For those of you still curious, this is the video. Try to enjoy.
UPDATE! Well, it would seem that LoPorto pretty much stole his opening message and the images he used from an old Apple commercial. Really. Here's the ad.
Supposedly, this video is taking the Internet by storm. In other words, people who jump anything that's in fashion as long as it's feel-good, fluffy and New Age-y are eating it up, while others are asking where the wisdom in the video lies. For those of us in the latter category, all we see is a sales pitch that's nearly ten minutes long, half sung by a bad wannabe pop-star/cult leader, er, I mean guru by the name of Garrett John LoPorto.
The video is the Wayseers Manifesto. He spells it Wayseer, but pronounces it Way See-er. The video starts with a man with generic good looks picking up the courtesy phone in a big box store and sending the call out to all "rule-breakers, misfits, troublemakers, free spirits, pioneers, visionaries and nonconformists." That everything you've been told is wrong with you is actually right with you and you see things that others don't.
In other words, let's try to hook in the disenfranchised with an overinflated sense of worth crowd right away. If you think you're special and the rules are for other people, this manifesto is for you.
Now, I have an issue with this right away. Let's say someone is in a deep psychosis and they're newly diagnosed and therefore, still quite paranoid and seeing things. Hearing voices. Suddenly, that person is told that they're special, nothing is wrong with his or her brain. Seeing things that others don't isn't a sign of psychosis, it's a sign of being special. The "Establishment" just wants to keep you down, man!
I'm not being snarky here. About ten years ago I dated someone who, while I was dating him, had a psychotic break. The "spirits in the mirror" were talking to him. Morrissey, Danzig and calculus held the secrets to the universe. He was paranoid. He developed the Renfield laugh. He became positive he saw the comet that was going to kill us all. When he sent me email saying that, I was more or less relieved at the time to see that a meteorite had streaked across the sky that morning, at the time he was driving and saw the "comet". The meteorite was so spectacular that it streaked across the sky from Canada to I believe it was North Carolina. But in his mind, it was the end of the planet.
So, I convinced him to pay a visit to his mother. Who convinced him to go to the hospital. Where he was put on Risperdal. Which he took for all of two weeks, as he felt that it was destroying his visions. Last I heard from him, he was mad at me, as I refused to take him in and take care of him, so he was going to go live in California with his father, who didn't believe he had any form of mental illness. So a person in the right state of paranoia who hears the message that there is nothing wrong with them that Wayseers can't fix, well, that could be a disaster for that person.
The
Our impulses are a gift, according to this man. Impulsive eating, impulsive shopping, impulsive sexual activity, well, I'm sure he'd consider this a good thing as long as you're a hot bubble-brain who will spend the entire sexual encounter telling him how brilliant he is. Our impulses it seems are "a key to the miraculous." Yes, it will be a miracle if you can pay off your credit card after that last bout of impulse shopping at Chanel. OK, now I'm being snarky. But once again, impulsive behavior is the sign of a sociopath.
Next we're told mood swings are the "natural pulse of life." Not something that should be controlled, because when you don't take your medication, everyone is afraid of you. They're only afraid of you as you scream and cry and start cutting yourself and threatening suicide because they're part of the "Establishment." According to our new guru here, they give you "unstoppable energy when you're high, deep soulful insight when you're low." Has this man ever met someone with untreated bipolar disorder? I think not. The lows do anything other than give the bipolar deep insight. They might sleep for 20 hours straight after a manic episode where they're up for three days and acting like they're on speed. Or does he mean the dreams where they're being persecuted by everyone around them are the deep soulful insights?
Ah, but next we learn there is no such thing as mental illness or a disorder. Being diagnosed means it's society who is sick, not you, but society points its finger at you.
But see, you're not using your illness or disorder properly according to this man. All the great pioneers and innovators had mental illness or some odd disorder, according to him. We are then treated to images of Richard Branson, Albert Einstein, Buckminster Fuller, Martin Luther King Jr., John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Muhammad Ali, Timothy Leary, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff (and his cheeseburger), Mother Teresa, Bob Marley, Mahatma Gandhi, The Who and a few people who I have no idea who they are. Are we to believe that Mahatma Gandhi and Charlie Sheen are cut from the same cloth? Are we to believe Sheen is someone to emulate?
Also, the traits he lists for people who have found "The Way" and who were rule breakers and visionaries, well, it's nice to put up pictures of people like Fuller and Gandhi. But let's not forget that Hitler and Mussolini and Manson and Dahmer and Stalin and Pol Pot all had these traits too.
Now, after telling you how special and different you are from the "Establishment," he goes on to sing, "we are all the same you know. Because we're all effected by The Way."
Excuse me? The Way is a well known cult. Pardon my language. The Way is a very, VERY impassioned right-wing Christian organization where people have written stories about their experiences, the abuse and their ultimate escape. It has a few offshoots by escapees who believed the doctrine, but didn't like the way they were told to shun friends and family who didn't believe the same way they did. So I hope he's not talking about them.
Then he repeats those lines, but this time, we're all attracted to the flame. And this melody he supposedly wrote sounds an awful lot like a Brian Eno piece. Maybe by the end of writing this I'll be able to jog my memory as to which Eno piece he's plagiarizing.
But now we are back to "The Way". The Way is natural order. Uh-oh. I'm going to have to stop striking out cult leader. This is a sales pitch. Join my cult, full of misfits just like you.
Wow. I'm not even three minutes into this video.
Next he tries to explain what "The Way" means. Basically, it's the will of God, but which god? I thought for a second he was going to try to compare it to The All from Hermetics. He almost did. But then he sidetracked. He goes on to talk about how "The Way" is the source of everything. Sounds like The All to me. But like, he has to call it something else so he can get his cult off the ground, right? He can't use "The Force" without getting sued. Too bad. Think of the Star Wars fans he could recruit.
But we're finally getting to the meat and potatoes of his
A true Wayseer can't show his work and just knows the right answer. And when "The Way" is present, so are they. Somehow, Conan O'Brien dancing on his desk and Ellen DeGeneris doing her little dance and some woman from a scene from some chick flick dancing somehow have something to do with "The Way" being present. From which I can only conclude, "The Way" has no rhythm and can't dance.
Next, he goes on about "neurological repression" as the prefrontal cortex censors our impulses and thoughts from the unconscious. The job of the prefrontal cortex is to help us along with social graces and the brain is highly evolved. It doesn't say censor your thoughts, it says to think before acting impulsively. Think and reason before you act. Nothing about censoring the unconscious mind. Dreams are manifestations of our unconscious mind and let's face it. Our dreams bring our unconscious thoughts and worries to the forefront. So I don't know what this guy is on about, but as I can't seem to find anything about his education, I can only guess he isn't a neurologist or psychiatrist.
However, any form of self censoring keeps us from finding "The Way." According to this guy. All I can really think of as he's on about the brain is the Discordian slogan: "Consult your pineal gland."
It would seem, if you've watched the video so far and are basking in the feel-good "I'm OK, you're OK" message, then you have overthrown the "fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex." No, really, he half sings that.
Yep. If his warm and fuzzy you're not mentally ill message appeals to you, then you have overthrown what society wants you to be. You are special, you are in the 10% who have found "The Way." At this point, he throws in scenes from "The Matrix." You are Neo! Don't you feel special?
LoPorto then launches into a message about revolution and going against society that drags on and on. Basically, anyone who has any manners or feels that society is necessary for humans, you don't see "The Way." "The Way" is all about your self interest and what YOU WANT. You are a victim of society! All those people who don't defy social conventions, they are sheep. This is where we get to the heart of the sociopathic message.
He claims 90% of humanity take social conventions and the rules very seriously. Is he trying to kid us? How many of you can say that 90% of the people you know are straight laced and follow all the rules? We ALL make our own rules for our own lives. Unless of course, he's encouraging people to break the law. Then we have a new problem.
LoPorto calls 90% of society psychotic in this video. No, he gets that backwards. But a lot of this video is backwards. Wayseers conform to creative and destructive acts? So our cult leader is showing us that he is a psychopath, looking for followers who will perform destructive acts against society for him when the time comes? This is the message I'm getting from the video.
This isn't the first time Garrett John LoPorto has tried to start a movement. The last time, he tried to cash in on "The DaVinci Code" craze with his DaVinci Method. It was designed to help those with ADD and ADHD use their disorder to make their brains work for them. I guess it didn't sell the way he wanted it to, as now he's pushing The Wayseers.
Go to the website and you will find a quiz that is almost identical to his DaVinci Method quiz. Are you a Wayseer? Are you a DaVinci? Chances are anyone who takes either quiz is going to find out that yes, they are special, they do fit. So buy my books! Besides, to get the quiz results, you have to give them your email address on both sites, so expect the spam to roll in!
Yep. The message of the Wayseers is so special that you can only order the book directly from the website and until you spend that $35 +postage and handling, you are just lost. You will never find the truth. I love you, you're special, now give me your money, follow me and when I give the call for destruction, you will answer. Of course, if you can't justify buying the book at the moment, you can join his other website for a mere $15 a month and interact with other Wayseers and get the wisdom of your guru, too.
Of course, if you're a good little Wayseer, you will give the website your email address, which will give you access to the first chapter of the book. As I'm sure this book isn't on Pirate Bay or any other site like that yet, I took one for the team and got the free chapter. It starts with the story of an egg that a chicken hatched, that was actually an eagle. And the eagle didn't fit in well with the other chickens. Didn't I read this story as a child? I do believe I did. Except it was a swan being raised by ducks! It was called "The Ugly Duckling!" First, he steals from Brian Eno and now, he steals from Hans Christian Andersen! I wonder who else he steals from?
But wait, hold the phone! First page, first chapter states, "Wayseers usually carry a common gene - a genetic polymorphism called DRD4 exon III 7-repeat allele. (DRD4 7R for short.) This is the DaVinci Method redux! That is the gene that is most commonly associated with ADD and ADHD. It is also linked to dopamine receptor 4, which is linked to schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, impulse disorders, binging and purging, well, you get the idea. A sociopath is trying to start a movement to get people with mental disease and disorders to follow him!
Of course, you don't have to have mental disease to be a Wayseer. If you don't have any of the DRD4 disorders, if you've done enough LSD to open the doors of perception, you're a Wayseer according to LoPorto too. So if you don't have a disorder, start dropping that acid so you can be a Wayseer!
However, a good number of people who jump every New Age movement are already following him and not paying attention to the fact he is looking for those who have clinical diagnoses to start his cult. He has written for the Huffington Post and he is getting an audience. Not to mention a largish following. Considering he is looking for people to take off their meds and brainwash, can that fortified compound in Montana be far behind? I don't think Elizabeth Clare Prophet is using hers anymore.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You still feel alone? You don't fit the ADHD profile that Garret LoPorto is looking for in a follower? You feel let down by yet another New Age movement? You feel left out of yet another cult? Don't worry, I'm sure Scientology will take you. Their message and indoctrination might be less harmful, too.
BTW, the music he uses is Brian Eno's "The Big Ship." I finally figured that out.
For those of you still curious, this is the video. Try to enjoy.
UPDATE! Well, it would seem that LoPorto pretty much stole his opening message and the images he used from an old Apple commercial. Really. Here's the ad.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Until The End Of The World
Yes, I did steal the title for this post from the Wim Wenders movie about the world ending in 1999. Funny how the world didn't end back then, isn't it? I mean, Nostradamus' king of terror was supposed to drop out of the sky in July of that year and then there was the Y2K hysteria. I remember watching the New Year's Eve festivities in countries time zones ahead of me. No planes fell out of the sky, no power outages, no toasters killing their owners, just a lot of people celebrating. Yet here in this country, in spite of nothing happening in Asia, Europe, Australia, people still took to their bunkers for the night, missing the biggest party of the century. I'm sure some of them still haven't run out of the toilet paper they stockpiled in 1999.
My point is, it didn't happen. It didn't happen in 1975, when the Jehovah's Witnesses went public with their end of the world prediction. People sold their houses and went to live in a big JW complex waiting for the end. They found themselves alive and homeless. Come to think of it, they had a 1999 apocalypse prediction too. That didn't happen either.
It didn't happen in 1988, when the doom and gloom sayers were claiming the 40th anniversary of Israel was the end. So many people were predicting the Rapture that year. But, humanity survived.
Various diseases were supposed to be the end. SARS was going to kill us all. We're all going to die from MRSA, which won't even make most carriers sick. Plague! Famine! Pestilence! We're all going to die!
At the moment, all the people who are disappointed they didn't die in the Y2K hysteria are embracing 2012 hysteria. Once again, we are all going to die. Planet X is going to jump from behind the Sun and crush us! Nibiru is coming! Dark Matter! Dark Rifts! Comets! The Rapture! They Mayan Calender! The blue star of the Hopis! It's the end!
*sigh*
OK, the meme keeps growing that we're all going to die. The Christians are dying for the Rapture, the Apocalypse, the final battle. They want to look down from Heaven after being Raptured and spit on those left behind and act self satisfied. Sadly, the very people with this attitude will never make it into Heaven and if there is such a thing as the Rapture, they wouldn't be going, as there's a major difference between being righteous and self righteous. But that's another blog post entirely.
Currently, I'm still seeing spam from Harold Camping's group, about how the Rapture is going to be in May and the end of days in October of this year. Of course, he said all of this was going to happen in 1994, too. But you know, he had to keep selling books and as he's president of Family Radio Stations, he has to keep fear going, to keep his listeners, to make some bucks. After all, he does tell his listeners to abandon their religions and listen to him. So like, you can end up the 3% that are going to be Raptured. Now, I don't believe in the Rapture, it is something invented by John Nelson Darby in the 1800s. But I do believe those who believe in it say 33% are going to be raised to Heaven bodily. If I'm wrong, please correct me.
The Rapture has come and gone so many times, I've lost count. I do feel that those of you waiting to be Raptured had better not hold your breath. For one thing, Jesus didn't keep his promise to his disciples about coming back. Matthew 13:30 states, "Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled." Once again, this is a different subject entirely.
The other big end of the world scenario for 2011 is Comet Elenin. It's going to pass way too close to the Earth and its tail is going to kill us all! Yeah, that's what they said about Halley's Comet back in the day. In 1910 it came within 0.15 AU of Earth and our orbit actually did pass through the tail. People sold snake oil to keep people "safe" from the effects of the comet. Others out to make a quick buck were selling comet insurance. Nothing happened. No one died from cosmic dust, radiation, any of that. We didn't end up deformed, except for the people who drank the elixirs. We didn't become sterile. Scientists say that the tail of the comet actually helped to clean the atmosphere.
But, tell that to the true believers. They are all upset about Comet Elenin. We're all going to die! It's going to pass within 0.48 AU of Earth. As in, just over three times as far away as Halley's Comet was. As in, 21,000,000 miles away from Earth. Hardly a near miss. But because this is a comet that was just discovered, the fear mongers are all claiming it's going to kill us. Passing through the tail is going to do great damage to our planet. I'm not entirely sure the tail is long enough to even pass near the Earth. But hey, it's a new comet, just discovered, so it has to be Nibiru, right? No, really. Google it. The number of people insisting Elenin is Nibiru is astounding. Someone on You Tube is also claiming this will cause pole shift. No, really.
Yet no one is talking about Comet 45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova. Maybe because it's so hard to say. This is going to pass Earth in August and talk about near misses, it's going to be at least twice as close as Halley's Comet was in 1910. This one is going to come as close as 0.0601 AU to 0.0767 AU from Earth. As in, a mere 5,500,000 miles away. So, chances are we are getting some comet tail this year. But not from Comet Elenin.
45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova passes by the planet every 5.252 years. It is a very short orbit comet. If you look at models, it looks like it's going to hit us. But it's not. Yet no one is talking about this one, because it isn't exciting. It's old news. It's been around for many, many years. New and shiny is always the danger, not old and common. But the fact is, it's still not going to hit us.
Another reason that this comet isn't getting doomsday press is, it's going to be at its closest in the middle of August, 2011. AUGUST??? Doesn't this comet know that all the doom and gloom prophecies for the latter half of the year are either September or October? Which is why Elenin is so scary. It will pass in October, very close to when Harold Camping claims the end will be.
See the meme at work here? Elenin is hardly a threat, but it fits into the monthly frame for which the end of the world is predicted the most. Nothing happens in August, other than people heading to the nearest beach. Well, if you're headed to the beach this year in August, you might see this comet. Depends on where in the world you are. The Southern Hemisphere for viewing in July and August and the UK for viewing in September in the pre-dawn hours. The best viewing for August, when it's at its closest, will be in New Zealand. But, this comet is a horizon hugger for most of us. Figures, doesn't it? The biggest threat in the form of a comet and most of us won't even be able to see it. Which of course, makes it less of a threat. Right? Well, that seems to be the logic at any rate.
So let's say we're still alive in November. No comet hit us. The tail of 45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova didn't turn us all into zombie mutants, looking for the normals who took the comet elixir, so we can eat their brains. The doomsday prophets still have 2012 to look forward to.
Ah yes, 2012. The promise of what Y2K was supposed to be. The end of time. Whose time, I wonder? Certainly not the clock the universe goes by. It is still expanding and stars are still being born. Oh yeah, that's right. It's the end of a cycle on the Mayan Long Count calendar.
The Mayan Long Count calendar is a complicated thing, calculated in base 20. We count in decimal, or base 10. As a result, there are 20 baktuns or cycles of 144,000 days in the Mayan Long Count Calendar. December 21, 2012 marks the end of the 13th baktun. Which means, December 22 starts the 14th. But not to those who are praying for death. Oh no. Those who felt cheated each time in their lives the end was predicted and it didn't happen are going to have their day. It had BETTER happen this time. SOMETHING had better happen this time. Or what? You have to start living and stop worrying about dying?
You know, when I think about it, the 2012 predictions are a blog post in themselves. So I shall leave that for another day.
My point is, it didn't happen. It didn't happen in 1975, when the Jehovah's Witnesses went public with their end of the world prediction. People sold their houses and went to live in a big JW complex waiting for the end. They found themselves alive and homeless. Come to think of it, they had a 1999 apocalypse prediction too. That didn't happen either.
It didn't happen in 1988, when the doom and gloom sayers were claiming the 40th anniversary of Israel was the end. So many people were predicting the Rapture that year. But, humanity survived.
Various diseases were supposed to be the end. SARS was going to kill us all. We're all going to die from MRSA, which won't even make most carriers sick. Plague! Famine! Pestilence! We're all going to die!
At the moment, all the people who are disappointed they didn't die in the Y2K hysteria are embracing 2012 hysteria. Once again, we are all going to die. Planet X is going to jump from behind the Sun and crush us! Nibiru is coming! Dark Matter! Dark Rifts! Comets! The Rapture! They Mayan Calender! The blue star of the Hopis! It's the end!
*sigh*
OK, the meme keeps growing that we're all going to die. The Christians are dying for the Rapture, the Apocalypse, the final battle. They want to look down from Heaven after being Raptured and spit on those left behind and act self satisfied. Sadly, the very people with this attitude will never make it into Heaven and if there is such a thing as the Rapture, they wouldn't be going, as there's a major difference between being righteous and self righteous. But that's another blog post entirely.
Currently, I'm still seeing spam from Harold Camping's group, about how the Rapture is going to be in May and the end of days in October of this year. Of course, he said all of this was going to happen in 1994, too. But you know, he had to keep selling books and as he's president of Family Radio Stations, he has to keep fear going, to keep his listeners, to make some bucks. After all, he does tell his listeners to abandon their religions and listen to him. So like, you can end up the 3% that are going to be Raptured. Now, I don't believe in the Rapture, it is something invented by John Nelson Darby in the 1800s. But I do believe those who believe in it say 33% are going to be raised to Heaven bodily. If I'm wrong, please correct me.
The Rapture has come and gone so many times, I've lost count. I do feel that those of you waiting to be Raptured had better not hold your breath. For one thing, Jesus didn't keep his promise to his disciples about coming back. Matthew 13:30 states, "Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled." Once again, this is a different subject entirely.
The other big end of the world scenario for 2011 is Comet Elenin. It's going to pass way too close to the Earth and its tail is going to kill us all! Yeah, that's what they said about Halley's Comet back in the day. In 1910 it came within 0.15 AU of Earth and our orbit actually did pass through the tail. People sold snake oil to keep people "safe" from the effects of the comet. Others out to make a quick buck were selling comet insurance. Nothing happened. No one died from cosmic dust, radiation, any of that. We didn't end up deformed, except for the people who drank the elixirs. We didn't become sterile. Scientists say that the tail of the comet actually helped to clean the atmosphere.
But, tell that to the true believers. They are all upset about Comet Elenin. We're all going to die! It's going to pass within 0.48 AU of Earth. As in, just over three times as far away as Halley's Comet was. As in, 21,000,000 miles away from Earth. Hardly a near miss. But because this is a comet that was just discovered, the fear mongers are all claiming it's going to kill us. Passing through the tail is going to do great damage to our planet. I'm not entirely sure the tail is long enough to even pass near the Earth. But hey, it's a new comet, just discovered, so it has to be Nibiru, right? No, really. Google it. The number of people insisting Elenin is Nibiru is astounding. Someone on You Tube is also claiming this will cause pole shift. No, really.
Yet no one is talking about Comet 45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova. Maybe because it's so hard to say. This is going to pass Earth in August and talk about near misses, it's going to be at least twice as close as Halley's Comet was in 1910. This one is going to come as close as 0.0601 AU to 0.0767 AU from Earth. As in, a mere 5,500,000 miles away. So, chances are we are getting some comet tail this year. But not from Comet Elenin.
45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova passes by the planet every 5.252 years. It is a very short orbit comet. If you look at models, it looks like it's going to hit us. But it's not. Yet no one is talking about this one, because it isn't exciting. It's old news. It's been around for many, many years. New and shiny is always the danger, not old and common. But the fact is, it's still not going to hit us.
Another reason that this comet isn't getting doomsday press is, it's going to be at its closest in the middle of August, 2011. AUGUST??? Doesn't this comet know that all the doom and gloom prophecies for the latter half of the year are either September or October? Which is why Elenin is so scary. It will pass in October, very close to when Harold Camping claims the end will be.
See the meme at work here? Elenin is hardly a threat, but it fits into the monthly frame for which the end of the world is predicted the most. Nothing happens in August, other than people heading to the nearest beach. Well, if you're headed to the beach this year in August, you might see this comet. Depends on where in the world you are. The Southern Hemisphere for viewing in July and August and the UK for viewing in September in the pre-dawn hours. The best viewing for August, when it's at its closest, will be in New Zealand. But, this comet is a horizon hugger for most of us. Figures, doesn't it? The biggest threat in the form of a comet and most of us won't even be able to see it. Which of course, makes it less of a threat. Right? Well, that seems to be the logic at any rate.
So let's say we're still alive in November. No comet hit us. The tail of 45P/Honda-Mrkos-Pajdusakova didn't turn us all into zombie mutants, looking for the normals who took the comet elixir, so we can eat their brains. The doomsday prophets still have 2012 to look forward to.
Ah yes, 2012. The promise of what Y2K was supposed to be. The end of time. Whose time, I wonder? Certainly not the clock the universe goes by. It is still expanding and stars are still being born. Oh yeah, that's right. It's the end of a cycle on the Mayan Long Count calendar.
The Mayan Long Count calendar is a complicated thing, calculated in base 20. We count in decimal, or base 10. As a result, there are 20 baktuns or cycles of 144,000 days in the Mayan Long Count Calendar. December 21, 2012 marks the end of the 13th baktun. Which means, December 22 starts the 14th. But not to those who are praying for death. Oh no. Those who felt cheated each time in their lives the end was predicted and it didn't happen are going to have their day. It had BETTER happen this time. SOMETHING had better happen this time. Or what? You have to start living and stop worrying about dying?
You know, when I think about it, the 2012 predictions are a blog post in themselves. So I shall leave that for another day.
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